torek, 04. december 2012


Having someone who loves you endlessly is everything. I had someone who loved me like that. and i loved him to heaven and back. My best friend. And i am girl. Girls can be very complicated. So, i was trying not do a blog about this. But i have been thinking about it for two months, and some days feels like i dont care about him. But some days its really hard not to think about him. And honestly, i have never trusted someone like him. And he keeped his promise. He never left me. I left him. I didnt wanted to, but i did. It was a mistake. But i really wasnt meant to make all this mess.. to loose someone so important. You know, having someone for two years, talking to him every single day, sharing all the stories over and over again, crying with him, laughing with him was something normal for me. I didnt spend a day without not thinking or talking to him. He was like a family to me. i cant tell you how i loved this. And today is one of those days when i cant think about ANYTHING just him and memories. And i actually promised to myself not to think about him. but i do. If that makes me a bad person, so be it. Theres not a day i would not think about him. If you know me, you actually know that my life was about him HAHA, i talked about him to everyone. I always said to people: you know, someday you will met someone like i have, and you will adore him and he will be just like your brother and you will call him your best friend, best of all friends. But, if you dont wanna mess everything please stay friends. Relationship with your best friend never works, no matter how do you feel, you have just two options: stay friends forever or mess it with love and feelings. and i gotta tell you DONT CHOOSE THE SECOND ONE. you will only loose him, no matter if you love him, or if you just like him. Look, i am not here to bother you with my sad stories and bullshit, but i am here because i wanted to tell and face it myself that i miss him. and there is nothing i can do about it, you know. He needs to move on (i think he already did) and i need to move on too (i think i never will) but i will try. I'll try just for him, because he deserves everything. He deserves all the best. And thats not me. sometimes i just look up in the sky full of stars and start to think about our song and Alejandro, and tuna, and long talks about Jozica Perne and Kozarski, and all the walks and stories and people we've met, and all the good and bad things we've been through and i smile. because theres no person that i would rather spent all this awkward moments with. I am really happy that i clicked him and start a conversation. As much as i regret messing up everything, i am really happy for al those moments. and i know that theres not a chance and i dont actually want one, but no matter what i will always be there waiting him to maybe change his minds. and  i never ever ever wanna forget. So here it is, our song:
i will never give up. like we said. forever.

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