nedelja, 27. julij 2014

ARE YOU EVER SAD FOR NO REASON?

nedelja, 27. julij 2014

ARE YOU EVER SAD FOR NO REASON?

Sometimes I wonder if everyone feel sad sometimes for no reason. If I could describe the feeling I'd say that you feel like you are missing someone, but don't know who or you have this feeling that something has been taken away from you, and yet you can't figure out what. I had troubles with that for some time now. I honestly couldn't fall asleep feeling happy. I was always sad in the nights and evenings, trying to figure out why. But I couldn't figure it out for myself. So what did I do, you ask. I googled it. And all I could read was "You Are Depressed" and "Sounds like depression". But I had depression some time ago, I know how it is like with me. I know exactly that this could not be it. I know that this is something else. I feel like this has something to do with the fact that I am not doing what I usually do, or I am not proud of my work. Maybe I even lost that thing that was pushing me to do stuff I enjoy doing.

I don't have that big inspiration that I used to had. I am a huge How I Met Your Mother fan. Me and Jan are having the big marathon just this week and some stuff that Ted said really made me think a lot. 


Maybe I am in that state. Maybe I believe less in acting, in friends, in family and that stuff.  And the problem is that, as Ted, I am also the one who dreams the hardest. The one optimistic kid that always inspire others. And because I am not doing what I planed to do this vacations, I am basically a wreck. 

You know I planed all this stuff I am going to film, all this places I am going to see, the big blogging projects I will do.. And I didn't do anything as I planed. It feels like I am having a block in my head. 

Anja always inspired me to do crazy awesome stuff, and now that I don't get to see her, everything seems wrong. 

I had this really good filing about that movie that I was talking about previously and it turned out as a complete disaster. I should tell you really quickly. This one guy hired me to be in his movie and he promised all great stuff and everything, but then it turned out he only wanted to use me. You know he wanted to be with me. He literally made a film to screew me (god, that sounds awful, but thats the nicest I can explain). And when I heard that (basically he told me with no shame), I lost this hope to spend this summer awesome. I blocked him, and I felt really stupid. I already filmed songs for him and I spend so much time on this dude, for nothing. And even more crazy part is that nobody will stop him. I have no idea what to do. Because he was my boss. That shouldn't be happening. 


On the happier note I am finally going on some real vacations to Italy with Jan for one week, and I am so super excited. And I am going to vlog it, because I need to start somewhere and thats a proper start for coming back on youtube. 


I am sorry for a bit sad blogs and all, but I need to let some stuff out. You will get the next one very cheerful and optimistic, I promise. 

Love, Eva




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ponedeljek, 21. julij 2014

BEFORE YOU I WAS FINE

ponedeljek, 21. julij 2014

BEFORE YOU I WAS FINE

Isn't that crazy. You met someone. You become friends. You become really close. You become best friends. You become inseparable. And then its over just like that. In a day or in a second. You dont even realize it when you loose someone. And at first you are sad. You cry yourself to sleep. And you are thinking why does every moment have to be so hard. Then you realize that if you were actually friends like that, this wouldn't happen. And then you start looking for options how to become friends again. And you do crazy stuff. You start posting ''attention'' stuff online. You start texting awkward stuff. You try to say you are sorry. You do everything, but literally N O T H I N G helps. And then you see it.

BEFORE YOU I WAS FINE. I WAS FINE BUT NOW I AM FUCKING PATHETIC!
And everything changes.


It's so weird. Everything is so weird. But why? Why do we seek for others, when others don't even seek for us. I don't understand why some people just forget about us, like all the years didn't even happen. Like we don't even like each other anymore. As we were someone else. But my inspiration for this post wasn't to be a whining pussy. It was actually to wrote down how to get better. Because I think that this is one of the hardest things in life. Letting someone go, being happy again. And I am the worst at this stuff. Honestly, when I attach to someone I stick to them, and never let go. Like I did that with Jan. I always stick to him like I am his personal mosquito, his little bloodsucker. Because I love him, you know. I have no idea how crazy it may sounds to you, but nobody fits together better than us two. And I stick to that, because I am happy with him. Always. But thats not the point. The point is, that until you move on in your head, nothing will change. Everyone reacts on things differently, and I have no idea how do you react. Maybe you cry, maybe you eat a lot, maybe you're very angry or maybe you push it deep inside and never talk about it again or maybe all that and more. But here are some tips on how to get better.

When I was sad, when I had troubles with Jan, I called my best friends and they helped so much, they kept talking to me, solving problems with me and they basically kept me busy. They were the best possible. The best support you can get. So don't be afraid and call them. They will cry with you and make you laugh, so it will make you feel a lot better. And if they call you, do that for them as well.

Go to the store. It will keep you very entertain and busy and who on earth doesn't like chocolate ice cream and coffee. You can buy all that and have fun preparing it.

Do what you do best. If you like playing sports, maybe traveling, reading, whatever you like, just do it. Have fun. Don't forget about yourself in hard times. You are important. So do whatever makes you happy.

Surround yourself with people you love. With people who make you happy. People who are glad to be there with you in sad times and help you with a smile on their face. That could be your friends, that could be your family even.

Start writing. I know this is not for everybody. But to me it helps a lot. You can start a blog (but don't be harsh on people, don't use it to be mean to the ones that hurt you) or you can just get yourself a notebook and a pen. It will make everything better. Sometimes people are sad just because they can't express themselves, maybe because they don't even know how they feel. And writing that down makes it easier to understand and actually helps you fix it.

When you are ready, delete photos, remove everything that could remind you of that person. You can put it in a box, you don't have to throw it away. Just get it off for the time you are sad, because if you have it, it will just make you want that person back. It will make you miss them more. And you wanna get over them, not get them back, right? RIGHT?!!!

You need to understand that I know that you maybe love him or her, that you wanna be with that person, but if its not right... what can you do? Everything will be alright, so baby get some sleep tonight. Everyday it gets easier. I am sorry but I can't help you if you have sleeping problems. But to me it helped watching some funny stuff of my computer or youtube and then just go to sleep. Turn off the lights and make yourself fall asleep.

Very important. Remove all the sad songs from your iPod, iPad, computer, phone or whatever you are using. It is NOT gonna help if you will stay inside and listen to your ''together'' songs. You even need to delete sad whining movies. Are we clear?

Oh right, PETS. They are the best doctors for broken hearts ever. If your fluffy dog or baby turtle or whatever you have won't make you happy, nothing will. I am sorry if you don't have pets, I mean its a miracle that you survived without them anyway, so... yeah *awkward*.

I hope that you can use something helpful for yourself. If not, I am sorry, I tried. Don't worry, everything will be alright. If its not right now, it will be very soon. I promise.
Love, Eva


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petek, 04. julij 2014

SUMMER SONGS