ponedeljek, 25. maj 2015


I just recently discovered that I have three different types of cry.

THE NORMAL CRY: The first type is the kind of cry when I cry and make silly noises, I cry and I am able to talk or scream haha. Its the kind of cry you usually see in movies, or it is the kind of cry you hear other people crying. Its a pretty normal cry. I usually cry like that when I am upset but it is not the end of the world. The cause is usually missing someone, or being really mad at someone. A better example is when I watch something sad on youtube or TV.

THE BROKEN HEARTED CRY: The second cry is the cry that is really rare. I only cry like that when something or someone breaks my heart. I don't know if you have ever seen something like that, but I start crying and turning off all the music in the world by shutting my ears, I start running. I get really nervous. I start feeling itchy. I could pull my fingers away. But the last step of my crying is that I can't breathe. I think I only experienced that kind of a panic attack cry twice in my life.

THE MOST PAINFUL CRY SOMEONE COULD EXPERIENCE: I think that this only happened to me one time in my entire life when I was in the hospital. I got the news about the person I was attached to most of my life, I got the news that he completely failed me and that he made sure I ended up there (which later turned to be false). I was alone in my room, I just got the news from his 'buddy' about what he did to me and I believed it - well, I was in some kind of coma, I was on life support, I felt terrible and I didn't know how I got there. So excuse me if I believed all the shit. I was alone in my room, my parents were gone for the first time, Jan was gone to a school trip, basically I was alone. And I was strong in front of everyone and when they left I started to puzzle the pieces together. I thought about what this source told me about the situation. I took a deep breathe and tears started pouring down my face,  I didn't breathe for at least two minutes, because I was not able to. There was not a sound in a room. I have never felt so alone. It was a cry when you are completely calm, but you could kill yourself in that moment. I seriously doubt that I will ever feel like that. The most horrible thing about that cry is that you can remember it. You can remember every single second and you know how you felt about it.

That is just my observation about my crying problem. I must admit that I probably cry more than a normal person and that is kinda bad, at least I think so. I thought that was an interesting blog for you to read haha about me crying. Well, in my head it sounded much more cooler than it turned out to be. I was gonna tell you just about the types and then I started telling yo a depressing story and Eva is sorry. Bye :*

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