četrtek, 20. avgust 2015

HELLO, HI!

LITTLE NOTE: I just wanted to state the fact that I am changing this blog a lot! And yes, I know it's annoying that you come here every week and see a different pattern and different posts, but to be honest. I am trying to figure out what I like. I know that right now this blue-nude thing that is going on is not very pretty, but I just thought that since I dont have an inspiration, I will at least leave you with that. I guess it is better than to leave you with nothing. 

I am sure than I will figure out what I want and like untill I manage to pass MATURA. Speaking of the devil and all the devilish things that comes with it. I have decided what I will study again. After this crazy month of pure sadness and just un obnoxious obsession with DC's villains, I finally have an answer you have all been dying to know, I am sure.

But to properly answer your question, I will have to explain how hard this decision(s) were for me. I was kinda stuck with the feeling of sadness, when I figured out that because I didn't pass all the spring finals, I might not get to the college I signed up for. I will have to re-write Geography & Sociology in summer and find a college, that will accept me. While I was on a college spree, I had to deal with the fact that all I really want to do is being an actress. It was quite hard for me, because I really didn't want to go to AGRFT (which is the only acting school in our country), and I didn't have any other choice but to go some other country and persue my dreams, which was kinda shutered by my family and boyfriend reminding me that I am not rich and I can't afford to pay even for a year of acting college in UK. I was looking for scholarships and anything, just anything, when I was put on a cold ice. I realised I can't stay home and not go to University, and go to work, to at least try to make some money, because my mom won't let me. She wants me to go to college. Period. I couldnt stand a chance. So, while I was stuck only with an idea and dreams, I had to make a decision. And I looked all the colleges in Ljubljana (because it is where I live) and the more I was looking, the less I knew what I want. I went back and forth and nothing came up. But then I just woke up one day and decided what I will study. And before I reveal what is that, I will tell you why I decided for this subjects. First of all, they are all free, they wont take all my time and they will accept me with my points, which will be around 70 (I think out of 100). I wanted to work while studying, so I will make enought money to leave this silly country for my acting dreams. I looked up for two jobs, that will be perfect for me. One is working for my favourite place on earth (which is our cinema - it will be a dream come true) or an animal shop, which is also my dream job. I am determined to make money for acting.

This is what I will study:

1. Archaeoloy (which was my first choice the last time, but I am not sure I will get it, because its hard to get in)
2. Being a school teacher for majors: Math & Physics
3. Being a school teacher for majors: Math & something I haven't decided yet (funny, because today I have to sign up for it, right haha...no?)

Surprised? Yeah, I know what you mean. But I guarantee you that you could not possibly be more schocked than me & my family. I love kids, I have 3 sisters and a brother. SO basically I decided for something that I will at least enjoy a bit, if acting wont work out for me. But lets not be pessimistic, because if I don't make it as an actress, I still don't have a plan B, I don't know what I will do even if I choose majors to study that are not acting, and it may look like plan B, but to be honest, I am made to be an actress.

As much as my boyfriend was a downer about my dreams, he still promised we will move to England in exactly two years, when we will be able to pay for it at least. I know what youre thinkin, he promised me to move to UK this year, but I guess it is just not possible. It was an honest promise this time. And if in two years there will be a post named 'I am not going to UK' I allow you to kick me in the ass and tell me what my dreams are again.

Lets talk about something else: WHY ON EARTH DO WE HAVE TO DECIDE ABOUT WHAT WILL OUR JOB BE AND WHAT TO STUDY FOR THAT JOB AT THE AGE OF 19?!

At my age, full of confusion and just finding out what I am good at, I can barely decide what I want to eat for dinner when my parents are away. I know how to take care of myself, and how to live and stuff like that, but I am completely sure that I am not sure if being this young and deciding what will you do with your life for the rest of your youth, is right? I mean some girls are basically getting pregnant and thinking about marriage, but not me. I belong to the group of people who will live in confusion untill I am probably at leats 25. The only fact that I am sure of is that I will have 5 dogs, big house, many tortoises and a ferret. Oh yeah, and that I will be dating Jan. Everything else, accept from the fact that I want to be an actress and I have no idea how to make that possible, is just a blur.

It only took me 2 cups of coffee, my boyfriend's T-shirt, Harley Quinn fanmade video for inspiration, cloudy weather and a pause from studying to write this post. I am doing great! Hi5 ME!

Do I look like I have everything under control? Yeah, thought so.

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