sreda, 29. junij 2016

THOR IS MY SUP(er) BUDDY

sreda, 29. junij 2016

THOR IS MY SUP(er) BUDDY

I was super happy today, when Thor wanted to go on a SUP with me and Mila. Thor hates water and always keeps away, but not today. He was super brave and we were having so much fun. Btw, if you were wondering about the location - this is Lake Bohinj. My posture here is amazing hahaha.

It was literally not possible to stand when these two were constantly moving. 

Come on, look at him in his new Ruffwear-floatie-gear. Yellow suits him so well.

This is Mila trying to hide from Thor, because he was splashing her all the time. I love this picture for some reason.
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ponedeljek, 27. junij 2016

WOULD YOU RATHER TAG

ponedeljek, 27. junij 2016

WOULD YOU RATHER TAG

1.) Would you rather lose all of your mascaras, eyeliners, lipsticks, and lipglosses or lose all of your palettes and eyeshadows?
Palettes and eyeshadows for sure.

2.) Would you rather chop off all your hair or never be able to cut it again?
Never be able to cut it again, probably.

3.) Would you rather have a coral cheek or a pink cheek?
Coral.

4.) If you had $1000 to spend, would you rather buy clothes or makeup?
Clothes haha.

5.) Would you rather apply lipstick as eyeliner, or eyeliner as lipstick?
Eyeliner as lipstick.

6.) Would you rather only shop at MAC or Sephora?
MAC.

7.) Would you rather only use one eyeshadow color or one lip color for the rest of your life?
One eyeshadow, because I am a big lipstick addict.

8.) Would you rather wear winter clothes in summer or summer clothes in winter?
Winter clothes in Summer.

9.) Would you rather have dark nails or bright nails all year round?
Depends. If dark means black or silver, then dark. But otherwise I would probably choose bright.

10.) Would you rather give up your favorite lip product or your favorite eye product?
Lip product.

11.) Would you rather only be able to wear your hair in a ponytail or a messy bun?
Ponytail.

12.) Would your rather never be able to paint your nails again or never use lipgloss?
Never use lipgloss, because if my nails aren't painted, I bite them.

13.) Would you rather shave your eyebrows and have none at all or sharpie them in everyday?
As awful as this question is, I guess I would sharpie them everyday. 

14.) Would you rather live without makeup or nail polish?
Nail polish.
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nedelja, 26. junij 2016

WHY I HATE GLITTER

nedelja, 26. junij 2016

WHY I HATE GLITTER


People know me as the girl who loves glow in the dark things and glitter and beautiful stuff. But I don't like glitter anymore. Actually its the other way around, I hate it. The fact that I prepared the whole speech about how glitter is shit is just the biggest proof of me really hating it. And I think you should hate it too! Here is why:

First of all, when you get glitter somewhere, you can't get it off. Glitterally forever. HAHA, get it? On your dying bed you still have the same exact glitter on you from 30 years back. I hate it. I take baths and showers daily, don't get me wrong, it doesn't help. It sticks to you more than mosquitos. 

Second. Glitter feels weird. Just recently I got attacked with glitter bomb, and I scratched myself so bad I have a rash. Why the hell does glitter feels so bad. Btw, I don't have glitter allergies. Oh no, wait, I do, please believe me that I do and keep it as far away as its humanly possible.

Third. People always try to touch you when they see glitter on you. Lets say you have a single piece of glitter on your face, they just try to stick their hand inside you. NO! Do not touch me haha.

The next thing is. Lets compare glitter to normal colours. The first example I could remember is make up. Glittery make up is not as pretty as the normal one. Personally I am a brown-kind-of-eye-shadow make up lover. And I almost never wear glitter on my eyes. I have seen that people can pull it off great, but I just think that it looks so fake. But again, thats just me. I never buy glittery shades. Ever.

The biggest glitter turn off for me is actually a story. When I was in my primary school I bought body glitter in white shade and I was playing pranks with my sister, so I blew the whole bottle into her, because I didn't think that the whole shit will come out and the whole room was in glitter for years. No matter how much mom made me clean it, there was always glitter in that room. But the fact that you can't regulate the amount of glitter you want to put somewhere is just annoying. Maybe I want to put just a little bit on, but thats just not possible. Glitter just spreads on you.

To summarise, do not put glitter on me. Don't do glitter pranks on me. Just keep it away from me. Because I hate glitter. Screw glitter.
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STANDING IN THE FLAMES

STANDING IN THE FLAMES

Most people have a rope that ties them to someone, and that rope can be short or it can be long. (Be long. Belong. Get it?) You don't know how long, though. It's not your choice.




I feel like people let me down constantly. They always promise how they will stay forever or how they will come back, because they love me so much and thats crazy, because not a single person is here by my side right now. Maybe it is me. It has to be me. There is no way that every single guy I met is broken. Maybe I am. Its the noise, I can't be quiet right now. I learned that I really like being on my own, I love being single. It means I can do whatever I want. In the last couple of months I met so many guys, and I had fun, but I am surely not into committing. Thats a lot of work and a lot of complications. I just feel like I am never going to be as happy as I was, and that bothers me. Yesterday I met the closest of a guy that can be to my soulmate. Literally. We are the same. Not in liking things only, we do the same stuff as well, but there was still something missing. It wasn't what I love, it wasn't who I love. Cass once said: ''You know what hurts the most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before.''

The trouble with my generation is that we all think we're fucking geniuses. Making something isn't good enough for us, and neither is selling something, or teaching something, or even just doing something; we have to be something. That’s the thing with the ''youngsters'' these days, isn’t it? We watch too many happy endings. Everything has to be wrapped up, with a smile and a tear and a wave. Everyone has learned, found love, seen the error of their ways, discovered the joys of monogamy, or fatherhood, or filial duty, or life itself.

I don't know you. The only thing I know about you is, you're reading this. I don't know if your happy or not; I don't know whether you're young or not. I sort of hope you're young and sad. If you're old and happy, I can imagine that you'll smile to yourself when you hear me going - he broke my heart. You'll remember someone who broke your heart, and you'll think to yourself, Oh yes, i remember how that feels. But you can't. Oh you'll remember feeling sort of pleasantly sad. You might remember listening to music and eating chocolates in your room, or walking along the embankment on your own, wrapped up in a winter coat and feeling lonely and brave. But can you remember how with every mouthful of food it felt like you were biting into your own stomach? Can you remember the taste of red wine as it came back up and into the toilet bowl? Can you remember dreaming every night that you were still together, that he was talking to you gently and touching you, so that every morning when you woke up you had to go through it all over again? Once you stop pretending that everything's shitty and you can't wait to get out of it...then it gets more painful, not less. Telling yourself life is shit is like an anaesthetic and when you stop taking the Advil, then you really can tell how much it hurts, and where, and it's not that kind of pain does anyone a whole lot of good.

It just gets me so mad. People go on about the first time being important, but it's the second time that really matters. Or the second person, anyway. 


The greatest thing in life, my own opinion, is that sometimes people get us. And they write about it or say it, or make it in a movie or a song, so we can read it, see it, hear it and we learn that our feelings can be explained. That we do know how we feel. That we are not the only ones who feel that way. That keeps me up at night. Knowing that I am not the only person with deep thoughts and sad heart. 


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četrtek, 23. junij 2016

THIS OR THAT TAG

četrtek, 23. junij 2016

THIS OR THAT TAG

MAKEUP:
Blush or bronzer? Blush.
Lip gloss or lipstick? Lipstick.
Eye liner or mascara? Mascara.
Foundation or concealer? Concealer, because it covers what I need covered.
Neutral or color eye shadow? 100% neutral.
Pressed or loose eye shadows? I like both.
Brushes or sponges? Brushes.

NAILS:
OPI or china glaze? OPI.
Long or short? Short.
Acrylic or natural? Natural.
Brights or darks? Brights for Summer, darks for Winter.
Flower or no flower? No flower.

BODY:
Perfume or body splash? Perfume.
Lotion or body butter? Lotion.
Body wash or soap? Both.
Lush or other bath company? Other.

FASHION:
Jeans or sweat pants? Jeans!!!
Long sleeve of short? Only short sleeves.
Dresses or skirts? Dresses.
Stripes or plaid? Plaid.
Flip flops or sandals? Sandals.
Scarves or hats? Hats for Summer, Scarves for Winter.
Studs or dangly earrings? Studs.
Necklaces or bracelets? Necklaces.
Heels or flats? Flats.
Cowboy boots or riding boots? Riding boots.
Jacket or hoodie? Hoodie, because its more cosy.
Forever 21 or charlotte russe? Forever 21.

HAIR:
Curly or straight? Curly.
Bun or ponytail? Ponytail.
Bobby pins or butterfly clips? Bobby pins.
Hair spray or gel? Hair spray.
Long or short? Long.
Light or dark? Light.
Side sweep bangs or full bangs? Side sweep.
Up or down? Down.

RANDOM:
Rain or shine? Shine.
Summer or winter? Summer.
Fall or spring? Fall.
Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. I hate vanilla.
East coast or west coast? Both.
White or black? Black.
Facebook or Twitter? Facebook.
Morning or evening? Morning for productivity and evening for everything else.
Dog or cat person? DOOOOOG!


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sreda, 22. junij 2016

MINI ROOM TOUR

sreda, 22. junij 2016

MINI ROOM TOUR








Without make up, because make up is for weak haha.








That will probably be it. I also have a big closet for clothes and make up. But that is not a room tour is it? That would be a closet tour, which I don't intend to do, as I already did it when I was living in Ljubljana. I took pictures at night time, so the lightening isn't the best, I am sorry about that. My excuse is that I forgot that I promised a room tour for today haha. Okay, I am heading to my cosy bed, because it is almost midnight. Bye!
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MY TASTE IN BOOKS

MY TASTE IN BOOKS

My taste in books is very specific and it is similar than my taste in films. Happy books are not what I like. The best books, the books that I like, don't have a happy ending. That is what I like and maybe if you don't like that, you should just skip this blogpost, because I don't think that there will be a single happy book on my list 'to read this Summer'. I am really into classics as well and I do enjoy a complex storyline. So, here it is. My list of books that I think you should read:

● The Great Gatsby (Francis Scott Fitzgerald)




● The Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger)


● A Long Way Down (Nick Hornby)





● Paper Towns (John Green) - I know, it is obvious, but I love the story.



● P.S. I Love You (Cecelia Ahern)

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torek, 21. junij 2016

Q&A (part 3)

torek, 21. junij 2016

Q&A (part 3)

Let's do another Q&A today, shall we?! I got quite a few questions over the past few months. I try to answer them as I go, but today I will try to collect a few of them here, for all of you to get to know me a little bit more.

Will you ever do a room tour?
Umm, yeah sure. I will do it tomorrow, okay? For you :) I have to clean it first haha.

What shampoo do you use for shorter hair?
I don't really have short hair, they are still quite long, I just love to dramatise a lot. Depends, I normally use all natural shampoos, but I have been enjoying Bed Head products by TIGI, because they smell delicious and they make my hair feel very soft.

What happened to Rosie?
Rosie died, because she was ill. I took her to the vet multiple times and she got a lot of injections and medications, but she was not getting any better, only worse. We struggled for several months. I think she was fighting for 6 months, until I decided it was enough. She was really sick and I felt really bad for her.

To what school are you going to go?
University of Ljubljana, Archaeology major.

What equipment do you use to take photos and make videos?
I think I answered that 10 times already. But I use Canon 700D with: 75-300mm lens, 18-55mm lens and 50mm lens. I also use Canon 1100D with same exact lens and I have an underwater camera (I can't find it at the moment to tell you what it is), but I mostly take pictures with my Windows Phone.

Why did you start blogging?
Because I was sad and I felt the need to leave a mark in the world.

Do mean comments hurt you?
Depends. I either find them hilarious or really hurtful. Nothing in between. But I don't mind them. They are a necessary evil that comes with me being exposed on internet.

Have you ever dealt with somebody pretending to be you?
The best question! Several times, but I don't really mind that as much as I mind the fact that this particular girl stole pictures of my bunny and made a whole profile and is pretending she is me. And it bothers me that she made my animals more famous than me hahahahahah. No, like there has been so many cases of stolen photos and identities of me that I don't even bother anymore. I laugh and let it go.

What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
It is hard to choose just one. I guess, that time Jan gave me Cap Ou Pas Cap and I fell down the running stairs in the middle of a shopping mall and everybody was laughing at me. That wasn't pleasant.

What inspires you to blog?
So many things. Mostly songs. Sometimes I find an amazing song and I could write for days. I am really inspired by TV series and if you combine the two of these, you get the perfect inspiration and motivation. Also movies, life experiences, books, quotes etc.

Can you sing?
I like to think so.

What were you like, when you were young?
Just awful.

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ponedeljek, 20. junij 2016

20 THINGS I'VE LEARNED AT 20

ponedeljek, 20. junij 2016

20 THINGS I'VE LEARNED AT 20

You can not possibly expect a great wisdom from a 20-year-old, but I still want to share a little piece of my life realisations with you. So here are 20 things I have learned at 20.

The most important thing in the world is you. Invest in yourself and do not let anybody tell you that you can't do a certain thing.

If somebody hurts you, they will most likely do it again. Don't hold on to a person just because of the great memories you have of them.

Happiness comes from pets. Not everybody loves pets, but they make best friends. At least to me.

No matter how weird you are and whatever weird things you like and buy, never be ashamed of that. You are your own unique person and the right people will get that.

Some people are just jerks, and there is nothing you can do about it, so don't waste your time trying to change them. Waste your time with people who are great companions.

Challenge yourself to do better. It could be little things, as long as they make you happy.

Never do anything in life for anybody BUT yourself. 

Spend a lot of time with your family. They are the best people that you will ever have in your life and they truly deserve your time. 

If you want something, just go get it. It is that simple and that hard. But it is worth it.

Guys come and go, and the world doesn't stop for anybody. So be brave and be smart and you will be just fine.

Don't throw away your dreams for somebody, because it will not work out and you will be left with nothing, while the other person will do just fine. Put yourself first.

Don't be afraid to change. Cut your hair if you have to. It is your own life.

Never EVER try to fit in, because if you will, you'll disappear.

It is okay to be sad, put on a sad song and just cry it out. Everybody gets sad sometimes.

If you think something is not right with your body or mind, go to the doctor. Don't just say that you're fine and wait for better days.

Choose your own path and don't let people tell you what is best for you, because they don't have a clue. And you do.

Don't change yourself to fit in, and especially don't change yourself for someone to like you better.

Eat vegetables and fruits. Eat what is good for you, because you will appreciate it after a while. But no matter what, never give up on ice-cream.

Always have control over your body, don't let anybody lead you or be mean and dominant to you.

Love everything and everyone that deserves it, as hard as its humanly possible. Share your love and happiness, because it is the greatest thing you can do.



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nedelja, 19. junij 2016

HEATHENS

nedelja, 19. junij 2016

HEATHENS

Leaked song of Twenty One Pilots from 3 days ago became my favourite song for ever. The fact that is also Suicide Squad soundtrack, makes me extremely happy. Those are two of the best things in the world. Song is amazing.




Here, for your viewing pleasure. But I must remind you that this is my favourite song, you can't make it your favourite, because its mine! You can just like it :)

Anyway, my dad fixed my motorbike and here is my official announcement. Motorbike season is opened. Look at me with my silly little helmet. It is too cute to be true.


Today I have no important news or any important matter to discuss, but it was a beautiful day and an amazing weekend, so I had an urge to at least post a photo or a video.

Haha, gotta post selfies. Btw, my sister is the background looking like a fucking creep. Love it. Kay, Bye. 
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petek, 17. junij 2016

LIFE GOES ON

petek, 17. junij 2016

LIFE GOES ON

Sometimes people leave, but that is okay. 


Sometimes certain people will leave us and there is nothing we can do about it. It all depends on a situation and a person, if we will ever get them back, but sometimes we have to accept that we won't. It is not the end of the world, but I get that it is not easy. Of course, I get that. The most important thing is to not blame yourself. I learned that it will eat you up from the inside. Life really doesn't need to be complicated. And that is the truth. Sometimes we can't stand life because we can't see that, it is really not that complicated an difficult. It is what you make it. And if you get dumped, so what? How many people get dumped and are just fine. You have a right to be sad, its totally understandable, I am just hoping that you won't think too much about it and that you won't blame yourself. Just try to live your life, like you would, if you would never have met the certain person, even if it seems impossible. 

A while back, this person came to my life and I was a bit stressed out about it, because I was sure I was never ever EVER gonna see him again or talk to him, but I managed to stay calm. But the fact that this certain person came back was just a miracle. Of course he didn't stick long enough, thats typical him, but sometimes life surprises us in the most unexpected ways. And I am fine with that. As well as I would be fine if I would have never seen him again. 

People always say that life is about finding yourself. But that is not true at all. Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. It is like riding a bicycle - to keep your balance, you must keep moving. Just when you think it can't get any worse, it can. And just when you think it can't get any better, it can. And I just want to live my life, like there is no tomorrow, like every day is my favourite day.  
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četrtek, 16. junij 2016

IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT YOURSELF, CALL ME... I WILL LAUGH AT YOU

četrtek, 16. junij 2016

IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT YOURSELF, CALL ME... I WILL LAUGH AT YOU


The first shock in this picture is my hair, I know. They are gone, they are gone for a simple reason. For myself. I needed my front from-frou again and I needed it short. Because I was keeping my hair long for someone else, and I need to do simple things like that for myself from now on!

Yesterday we went to my lil peach's prom and I just wanted to say that she was beautiful. She was the prettiest one there, I am not even kidding you. Can't really post pictures from yesterday, because I haven't edited them yet. But they are beautiful. I will just post a failed picture, because it is funny and I loved how we just spend a whole minute deciding where we will stand, so here it is:




It is not in focus, and its not the prettiest thing, but it is us. It is me trying to make myself smaller to not cover up my mom, its Mila trying to squeeze near me and Ana trying not to die in high heals, its mom laughing at us and Miloš trying to fix the whole thing. Oh, btw, me and Mila dressed together, so we would match and we did, but you can't really see it, because of my sweater.


In moments like this I just stop for a second and realise what a great team we all are. No matter what grades Ana brings at home, no matter how moody Mila is and especially no matter what stupid thing I did this time, we are a great team. And I just wanted to say that if any of you have a bad day, or just feels down.. IF YOU CAN'T LAUGH AT YOURSELF, CALL ME... I WILL LAUGH AT YOU☻! 


Also, my grandparents and my dad came. That was super sweet. I think we were probably the only family with grandparents, and that was really cool in my opinion. I know it meant a lot to Ana, and it definitely meant a lot to me.


It warms my heart that we get along.
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torek, 14. junij 2016

TRAGEDY

torek, 14. junij 2016

TRAGEDY


I have changed. My hair is longer, it grew about a decimetre and I am going to cut my split ends on Wednesday. The idea of actually having short hair just popped in my head, not that I like it, but it would be a drastic change. I feel like my eyes got bluer. They were always super mega blue, but now they are even bluer. I stopped eating meat. Yeah I know, it sucks, but I just found out that I have rheumatism, so no meat for this chick. My jokes got funnier. Sarcasm and stupid jokes are my number one defence now. No more being irresponsible little kid. Oh, yeah I have a new favourite movie. Of course Inception is still number one, but A Long Way Down really moved me. And the fact that this is actually a happy movie is really a big change. I applied for a job, can you imagine? Haha, don't even want to tell you what I applied for, you are gonna think its stupid. I met somebody cool, but it turned out not so cool, so I left. You know me, can't commit anymore. I am not a teenager anymore. I am a responsible 20-year-old. The Royals is currently my obsession. You know how I like to give my whole heart to one TV series, yeah The Royals is the main attraction for me right now, besides Game of Thrones. I can't help it, Eleanor is me. She is me. My favourite thing to do now is just laying in my bed with headphones on and listening to loud music. The fact that film music is my favourite hasn't changed a bit. My drawing skills still suck, but they suck a little less now. Oh yeah, guess who called? Yeah, I am not kidding you, he came back. I have a new favourite band(s). One is Twenty One Pilots and the other is Panic! At The Disco. They are genuinely the most caring two bands - like they care about fans so much. That means that Tyler Joseph cares about me. I will take that! I had to throw away my pink All Stars, mom made me do it. But I got red Vans in return and they are quite nice actually. I can do sweets now, like a pro. Baking is something I like to do, when there is nothing to do. Slowly I am making progress with making videos again, but I think that it hit me here the hardest. I am just grateful that I can at least edit now. 'Slowly' is the key word in that sentence, but hey, I am getting better. Cars are my new passion, mainly because I liked Need For Speed haha, I am such a girl. I started going to bed late again. There are things that haven't change about me. I still look at the world with glittery eyes, I still smile with my eyes. The LOTR necklace is still my favourite piece of my wardrobe. I still like to dance in a car when my jam is on. I still sleep everywhere I go. I can still win at Chess. I still cry when I see certain movie endings. I can still do great impressions of Russian accent and Sean Connery and others. I guess that a person can change quite a lot in a year, but little things stayed with me. Maybe I will change something about myself everyday, until I will be unrecognisable, but I don't think I will stop being good at Chess or I don't think that I will ever stop writing what I feel is right. That is a big part of who I am. And if that is what you don't like, then you will never like me for who I am, not when I am 20, not when I will be 40, not even when I will be 90 years old. But that is okay, because I don't need you to like me anymore.
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nedelja, 12. junij 2016

MAGIC

nedelja, 12. junij 2016

MAGIC


I am a firm believer that sometimes things happen because of magic. When I speak about magic, I am not talking about Harry Potter kind of magic that would acquire magic kinda wand and enormous spiders, I am talking about the kind of magic when things happen just because its the right thing to happen.

On National Geographic Channel there is this show about religion that Morgan Freeman hosts and I watched like two or three episodes, because somehow it is really inspiring. There was particularly the one that was about magic or miracles. And it opened up with just crazy example of magic - it was about one man who accidentally fell down from a 23 floor (or something) building and survived. The show was about if that is God's work or if its magic or what could even be the reason that this particular human survived the fall. 

And my personal belief is that magic is all around us. Waiting to make its appearance in the right moment of our lives. It could be finding a perfect person out of 7 billion people in the world, it could be saving someone, it could be little things like passing an exam that we didn't study for or maybe the best cup of coffee. Everyday holds new magic. And if you believe in it, you just might be in luck for some. 


You need to watch the world with glittery eyes, you know the ones you make when something makes you happy beyond describing it. Because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places of the world. And those who don't believe in magic will never find it. Even Roald Dahl said that. If he said it, it must be true. Writers that amazing must be true.
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AMAZING OLD SONGS (To listen in the car)

AMAZING OLD SONGS (To listen in the car)





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GIRL STEREOTYPES

GIRL STEREOTYPES

A stereotype is used to catergorize a group of people. People don't understand that type of person, so they put them into classifications, thinking that everyone who is that needs to be like that, or anyone who acts like their classifications is one. -Urban Dictionary

List of things that are not true for majority of girls (I can speak about me and girls I know):


  • Women are quieter than men and not meant to speak out. This blog is a good proof that we speak out and that we talk a lot!
  • Women do not play video games. Yeah right haha.
  • Women don’t need to go to college. Nobody is obligated, but we aren't really in a position to turn education down, are we? No offence.
  • Women don’t play sports. I am pretty sure we do. 
  • Women are supposed to be submissive and do as they are told. 'Supposed' is a key word here.
  • Women do not have technical skills and are not good at "hands on" projects such as car repairs. HAHAHAHA
  • Women are supposed to look pretty and be looked at. Umm, right, thats why I am still in my PJ and look like shit.
  • Women love to sing and dance. Don't we all? Like thats not really a stereotype.
  • Women are bad drivers. No, most of us aren't. There are shitty man drivers out there as well.
  • Women love to spend other people's money. Not more than we love to spend our own money. Besides, we don't like to get expensive gifts from others, at least I don't. I am more of a 'get me something special and unique' type of a girl. Haha.
  • Women cry at the drop of a hat, often over nothing. Well, I have nothing on this. It is true.
  • Women are jealous. Umm, yeah, because you give us a reason. And after we think about if its really worth it, we usually get a realisation that it is not worth it if somebody gets us jelly.
  • Women are fragile, ready to break down at the slightest hint of trouble. Yes true, that's why we get shit done and thats why we fix every problem before you.

  • Oh god, I think that by trying to prove that these stereotypes aren't really true, I opened up a  whole new spectre of Man stereotypes. Not intentional. Sorry guys. We do love you, truly. You are the best. Hi5!

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sreda, 08. junij 2016

AND YOU CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS

sreda, 08. junij 2016

AND YOU CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS

My heart is a mess and it makes no sense. Love ain't fair, so here I am, writing to make myself feel better, when in fact I can't feel better. Neither I should. If you hurt someone you like, it doesn't get easier with time. Like there is no such thing when you can like wait for the certain amount of time and everything feels okay again. It just doesn't work like that. When you hurt somebody, who you like, it changes you. You start to think about who are you really and what's fucking wrong with you. 

Surely, there are some stuff that are wrong with me, because everyone has their flaws, and I realise that I am not perfect, and my problem is that I can't commit to it. Not anymore. As soon as there is like a tiny flaw on someone, I am long gone. I get scared, here! I admit it. We make choices. No one else can live our lives for us. And we must confront and accept the consequences of our actions.

I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.

In fact, I just got a little crazy. Right now I am in my bed with my phone in my hands, waiting to see that 'online' sign up there, not to text them, right, but to feel something. Maybe even to feel a little better. 

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." - Neil Gaiman 

We do what we do, because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves. 


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nedelja, 05. junij 2016

FUCK PROMISES

nedelja, 05. junij 2016

FUCK PROMISES


The fact that I can break promises now, makes me hate myself.
People make promises and they just think that they are gonna keep them forever, but when something doesn't go according to plan, those promises just loose meaning. Why? I don't get it. Its a promise. And promises mean more to me than anything in this world. Trust and promises. Considering that they mean so much to me, I broke a few lately. I just can't keep them anymore.

I am really happy right now, but it is holding me back. It makes me feel bad. The fact that few words, that are sealed with *cross your heart*, can have such an impact on me is just crazy. But I can't help it. You can't just take them back, even if you want to. So, from now on. I am not gonna make any promises anymore. 

Don't break a promise and expect me to keep it. Anyway, fuck promises and fuck people who made me promise them. I am not gonna feel bad about it anymore.


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sobota, 04. junij 2016

EVERYTHING IS BLUE

sobota, 04. junij 2016

EVERYTHING IS BLUE

How long does it take to move on from a breakup? Here are my two theories and two mathematical equations to go with that.

1. Half the length of the relationship. So, mathematically it will look like this:

MONTHS OF DATING : 2 = your result

Thats one complicated equation, I know.

2. One week for every month you were together.

MONTHS OF DATING; one week is for one month and then you just put weeks together. So if you were together for 3 years, that means 36 months and 36 weeks to get better. And if approximately a month has 4 weeks, you have to divide 36 with 4 and there is your answer. 9 months.

The equation: NUMBER OF MONTHS DATING : 4 = your result

______

Sometimes I am impressed of how smart I am making all this up and even trying to be mathematical about it. Well, math is one of my favourite subjects, so believe me, I can do better math than that haha.

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petek, 03. junij 2016

SUMMER 2016 SO FAR

petek, 03. junij 2016

SUMMER 2016 SO FAR















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