nedelja, 03. julij 2016

TODAY IS THE LAST DAY

And then it is over. I am done after today.
(To special somebody, who lied to me. Again.)


Being patient is a great quality, but I can surely say that I don't have that quality. Quiet is difficult for me right now, the noise is how I breathe. It's what gets me through the day. What if this is who I am, and it is not a phase, this version, loud.

People say that true love means putting someone else's needs before your own. Its is something that can't be compared to anything else. That you are willing to wait for the rest of your life for that special person. That might be true, I don't know, because I am quitting today. I said I will wait and I was going to, but you betrayed me. You said you need to fix yourself for me and I believed that. I had no idea that all you wanted all along is to break my heart... again. You said I was great, you said I could be great, you said we were destined to be together, you said it to the world, you said it to me and I wish you never had because you did not mean any of it. The funny part here is that I am going to be fine, I will eventually forget that you exist, because that is what I do. I wont let myself think about someone who only wants to mess me up. Thats just a fact. And one day, when your girlfriend breaks up with you, you will remember that the only person who was ever always truly there for you, who always wanted to see the best version of you, is still somewhere out there. And you will remember that she writes a blog and that she always forgives you for being an asshole. And you are going to write her an email, but she is not going to be there. You think I am a certain type of girl, and you think that when you will be ready, later in life you will meet this same type of girl. But the truth is, you wont.

After today, there is no way I will ever forgive you. You can buy and steal millions of flowers, bring any kind of food, write the most romantic poems, but I wont come back to you. Ever. In any kind of form, not even as a friend. Because I will never EVER let you treat me like that again. I told you how much promises mean to me and you promised. When you read this, because I know you will, it might be already too late, but that is okay. This is not just a heads up from me to you, it is also me telling you to not ever even try to come back to me. And when you feel bad at night and when you feel so bad you just wanna sleep all day, I wont be there to forgive you. I told you I forgive you for the past things that happened between us, and I do. But this? I don't forgive you for this. You broke a promise and I don't trust you. It is 14:00 exactly and there are only 10 hours left for me to not break that promise. But here is another promise. After the clock turns midnight, and you don't make it right, we are strangers. Then it is my turn to be happy. With someone else.

Don't you get it? You went behind my back. You hurt me. You were more selfish than I've ever been to you.

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