torek, 16. avgust 2016

Montenegro: DAY 2

Why do people around me always go crazy? I am convinced that I am a magnet for fucked up guys. Maybe I don't want somebody dangerous, maybe I just want somebody who will treat me right. People always try to save me, but I don't need that. You can't fix me, because I am not broken, I don't need to be fixed, okay! I am me.

All my life I thought I deserve all the bad things that happened to me. I was so sure I deserve people who treat me bad, and I was sure I deserve to get fucked up... and now I can't even believe that people can really, honestly be so nice and I have thins feeling that I am not worth it, that I don't deserve it and it is holding me back. 

Have you ever seen that Lip and Karens scene? This is the scene I am talking about - THIS. That is me, that hurts me. I am vulnerable because I can't let anybody in. One day you find something in queen's bed and off you go. I am talking in riddles again, I know, I just can't put thoughts to words, because I am not okay. Why do people die or why do they get insane and hurt you? Why can't there just be happiness? All I want in life is for everybody to be happy and I never meant for any of this to happen. You don't understand, I have never felt this way as I do now.

I do not want to talk about my day and all I want is sleep. Here are two pictures of my day.

I met so many lovely people today, while with Thor. In Montenegro people are so impressed if you have a well behaved dog, its funny.

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