ponedeljek, 26. september 2016


So many people want me to fail and so many want to see me suffer and just be down. And I am really sorry, but I am going to make this really hard for you. People are allowed to suffer, you know that right? There are so many bad things that made me the way I am. So many labels covering my eyes. You know like those pictures where there is a black line covering someones eyes and then there is a word written on it, like 'depressed', 'lonely', 'gay' or something like that. Well, I have loads of labels, and sometimes I really feel down about it. And that is okay.

I was not planed. I was not wanted. My dad never really cared to the point that he would make an effort in any way and my supposedly soul mate left me because I was not smart enough. See how many labels are mentioned here already? Quite a lot and I could continue, but to be honest... I am not defined with those labels. Bad things that happened to me don't tell anything about me but that I survived them and that they made me tougher as a person.

If you want to make me sad with comments or if you are in any way jealous with what I do and who I am, I can assure you that the only effect you give is me looking at you differently. You don't bring me down, 90% of the time, but you make me question about you. About your kindness, about your personality and I am confused, because I don't understand where are you coming from. I could sit here for days and tell you stories about my life that would make you feel empty inside, but I am not going to do it, because life is not about hard times. It is about turning hard times to great ones. And living life to the fullest. So many people are just sitting there and judging my decisions and trying to make me quit and stuff like that. One thing I am most annoyed with is definitely shipping me with my ex. Are you crazy people? How can you ship me with someone who left me and didn't come back? You don't understand, I made the decision to be happy instead of miserable and you ship me with my worst self? No. You have to understand that.

Being here and realising that loving yourself first and just being happy is the most important thing. And whenever I am talking to any of you, I try to tell you that, because you don't believe in yourself enough. And that hurts me. Sometimes I should take my own advice, I know, but lately I have been really happy. Happier than ever. And I am sick of people treating me like I am here to be judged, because I am not. You can judge me if you want, but I promise you that it doesn't hurt. At all. It hurts you more.

Never been more grateful for anything more than all the people that fight for me and for people who talk to me everyday because they think I am interesting. And for special someone who asks me how I am feeling and what I am doing. It is so simple, but so important. Truly happy that I have so many great friends who are there for me. :) So, here is the deal, you can try to bring me down, but you won't succeed. Ever.

Eva the disaster.

4 komentarji:

  1. well said!!! labels and words mean nothing if you love yourself and know who you are as a person. Don't let anyone ever bring you down.


  2. Eva I get that some people are super nasty but I just want you to know that there are so many people who look up to you & love what you do & love that you share your road to self-discovery and happiness including myself. Lots of love :) xx

    1. awww, that was so nice:) Thank you so much xx You are literally my favourite hooman right now:)