ponedeljek, 24. oktober 2016

I WOULD GO CRAZY IF YOU WEREN'T WITH ME.

ponedeljek, 24. oktober 2016

I WOULD GO CRAZY IF YOU WEREN'T WITH ME.

Shoutout to my friends, who are so much bigger than all the words I know and all the words that I am able to say.

Without you, I'd be a whole lotta lost, a whole lotta different and a whole lotta dumber haha. I am the girl in our gang, who is the dumbest, so yeah, you all kinda make me less stupid, I guess. Well, at least I didn't wrote on a test that Australian biggest ocean attraction is underwater volcano. Oh snap. Please don't kill me. I am 100% sure that if there was a situation where a killer would hold us at gunpoint and I would have to choose between releasing you or me, I would pick you instantly. You saved me so many times, I lost counting. 

Each and every one of you made me a better person in a different way. One of you is always making sure that I am trying my hardest and that I am always being my best, and mostly that I deserve better. And she always tells me if I am being crazy and if I am being a bitch or careless or if I take too many selfies haha or if I don't blog enough or if I am capable of better things. You are cool, you are. I don't think I'd be half as cool as I am if you wouldn't believe in me. You are kinda the best partner in everything, not just crimes, I have and we don't have to spend every aching moment together for me to love you. Yes, I love you, deal with it blondie. You make my life so much better. And because of you, it is already pretty great on its own. Then there is this dude, who is the weirdest and strangest person and I must say that if I would spend my lifetime trying to understand how you turned out to be this awesome, I would still not get it. If I could give someone the credit of all my big smart decisions, I am giving credits to you. Frankly, I think that if there wasn't for you, I'd still be dating assholes and I'd be pretty lost. Thanks for all the things you teach me every single day and thanks for talking to me when I need you or when you go out for a coffee with me when I am not my best and thanks for making sure I am okay. Damn, you are so cool. More than you know. And then there is this girly, who gives me awesome free stuff to make me happy haha, I just had to make this statement, because I love free stuff. And I love you. Thanks for letting me stay in your home and thanks for feeding me and letting me be a part of your life. I am so glad to be in your life. Thanks for tagging me under lama pictures haha, deeply appreciated. I am just going to tell you this real quick, because I don't think you know, but even at your worst, I never stop believing in you. I was rooting for you and you did not let me down, because you are super smart and when there is a crucial moment, you are strong enough to do the right thing. And whenever you will feel lost, you always have us. 

Whatever I do, whoever I become, no matter where I go, you can always, 100%, count on me. I will be there for you, I will come to Ljubljana from Mengeš, from Grosuplje, from freaking New York, I will love the heck out of you. And I will put you first, because you are first. You are bigger friends to me than you realise and you are so important. And because of you I am truly happy and I hope I make you half as happy as you make me. How did I get so lucky, I don't know, but you are crazy. If you weren't we would not be friends. I love you, all of you! Thank you so much!
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torek, 11. oktober 2016

MY NEW VIDEO

torek, 11. oktober 2016

MY NEW VIDEO

Yes, I know, it is nothing special, give me a break. I made a really great one with copyrighted music and it got blocked in so many countries, so this is better than nothing. Okay, Eva loves you! Enjoy!

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nedelja, 09. oktober 2016

BE A GIRL WITH A LOT OF UNIVERSE IN YOU.

nedelja, 09. oktober 2016

BE A GIRL WITH A LOT OF UNIVERSE IN YOU.

Song suggestion of the freaking year: Down With Webster - Your Man

If you know me personally, you already know that I am not the girl who would stay home and do nothing all day. Not a long time ago I was, I am not gonna lie, but life kinda kicked me hard in the butt and my universe went crazy and just pushed me to do better. Just a quick disclaimer, I am not saying that my life is better than yours, I am just gonna express the way I feel about life and the way I want every single one of you to feel. 

We are not all made to do the same things, I know that. If I put it like this: we don't have the same interests and we don't have same desires and goals, which is what make the world function, our differences. So, if I am telling you to go out there, inspire others and make someone happy that could mean so many different things. My purpose, and I knew that from the very start of my existence, is to make people laugh with making fun of myself, to create things and products that will inspire others and to be the person in the gang who will share a whole lotta sparkles and have a whole lotta universe in me. You could be completely different, but the important thing is to know how to be happy. Know what makes you happy and do it as much as you can. 

Other people can make you so incredibly happy and thats okay, but nobody can make you happy if you don't know how to be happy yourself. So, maybe take time to really explore who you are and who you can be. This 'gap year' that I had, turned out to be a complete disaster, but I think that I discovered what makes me happy and I think that if I wouldn't have this year off, I would loose my mind and just be same old sad little girl, who I am not destined to be. I can tell you so much about how to deal with depression and manic state and diagnoses and all the things that I thought were incurable, but they are not. You just need to believe and make yourself happy. Discover a whole new universe in you. Get that sparkle back into your eyes, smile with eyes, which reflect who you really are. 
Having universe inside you sound so Disney, but imagine that, you could be anything you want to be. If you want you can turn invisible, you are just to scared and dumb (yes, I just called you dumb, sorry about that) to chase that goal. You can be a hell of a great doctor or magician (please don't be creepy magician, eva no-likey) or hell of a great mother, you can be anything you put your heart and soul into. Throw kindness around like confetti. Be crazy, and people will accept you and love you. I met someone really freaking fantastic some time ago, it is hard to explain, this person is so cool and so funny and so motivational and everything, that it automatically made me do better, he just inspired me to lead a better life, to have a goal to move away again (but not to run away, like I always do, but just for the purpose to be happy), to do what I want, because it feels right to me and that it is okay if I screw things up from time to time. Sometimes you meet just the right people and it all makes sense and they always push you do be the best version of yourself. It is so nice. 


I just decided to put a list of things you need to try if you don't know where to start with all this hustling and being the best you can possibly be and just make the best out of the day:

· Check out GaryVee on Youtube (to get inspired)
· Take time out. Don't listen to your mom when she tells you that its a bad idea. If you feel that it is the right thing to do, just do it.
· Wake up early in the morning and do all the things you need to do, so you will have time to do better things throughout the day.
· Laughing is the best exercise.
· Drink a lot of tea and coffee and just something warm, that will make you feel happy.
· Make plans with friends.
· Watch an episode of How I Met Your Mother and be impressed with Marshall's happiness.
· Create a new happy Youtube playlist.
· Check Out Vessel from Twenty One Pilots (Listen to: Oh, Ms Believer, Migraine, Ride..)
· Nights are not for sleeping, whoever told you that is stupid. At night we work and we eat Guarana and brain storm. We team!
· Don't let people take you for granted, ever. If you make something nice and they don't appreciate it, just ignore them or block them. Its okay if you get rid of people who weight you down and not see that you try for them.
· Buy things that make you happy, or save money for trips and travel and explore and see and be great and smart.
· Discover yourself.

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nedelja, 02. oktober 2016

BAD HABIT

nedelja, 02. oktober 2016

BAD HABIT

You got yourself a bad habit.

Let's talk boys today, okay? Okay!

Girls who chase guys are just crazy in my opinion. Don't understand me wrong, there is nothing wrong if you text him first and if you say nice things, but being the only one who makes a relationship work is eventually going to not work for you. And I am just saying that, because you can't see it, no girl, who is that deep into it, can see it and you don't deserve to be with someone who just sits and waits for you to do your thing. It might take you a few years to figure that out and by then it will be too late, because you will spend so much time for something that didn't work in the beginning, you just couldn't see it. It has to be mutual.
Bad habit is what I call it. Because honey, I promise you, if he will want to talk to you, he will call you and if he will want to see you, he will show up. If he will want to take you somewhere or make you feel good and special, he will do it, because he wants to do it. If he doesn't, then maybe you should consider if your love and time are worth it. Don't beg for his attention, because then you'll make a habit out of it and in a few years you will still be stuck with this habit and you will be a girl who has to beg for the rest of her life, and I just think that you deserve better.

Girls fall in love too quickly. You can't just fall in love with someone who has same interests as you do or with someone who looks nice and things like that. Because then you realise that he is just not what you want him to be and you are already in love and you basically go crazy because of it. It is all going so fast I can't even keep up with all of you. Why is it so hard for you to first be friends and talk to him for more than two minutes and see how he works when he is under pressure, or how he reacts to sad or messy situations. How he makes his tea and what is he thinking at 4 in the morning. You have to really get to know a person to be in love, you can't just say kaboom I am in love. Maybe it is just me, but I am really trying hard to stay away from difficult situations.
Some people just fall in love to feel something and it breaks my heart. You have to love yourself first and be able to make yourself happy, without any help. Why do you think that if you can't be happy right now, that some guy will come and make you happy or even worse... that he will save you? No, you have to save yourself. It doesn't matter what it takes, I don't care - go to the doctor, but fix yourself up. You gotta. Personally, what my problem is haha that is gonna sound so strange, but when I felt like that was it - that I love someone, I got so nervous and so afraid, I would just start panicking and walking away and I got this sick feeling all over my body. It felt like my body was resisting love so hard haha I swear I almost puked in the sink. Sounds so romantic, doesn't it. Maybe I am just too afraid to fall in love. 

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sobota, 01. oktober 2016

THE 'no problem' GIRL

sobota, 01. oktober 2016

THE 'no problem' GIRL

In the last year I became the most chill person you could imagine. It wasn't scars or what happened to me in November, it is all just a big idea on how to live your life to the fullest. Achieving that, I had to go through phases like: learning to let certain people and things go, not being the stubborn little girlie, like you all know I am and always forgiving where there is worth forgiving, asap.


And I really wanted to take time and speak about what being the 'no problem' girl really is like. If there is a problem, I just don't see the point in being mad at someone for not being the way you imagined. If I give you an example; you expect a person would do something like, tell you something important and when they don't, you feel a bit empty and just not good. And here is what I do now, I will say - no problem. Nothing more. Expecting people to be perfect and to always do the right thing, will sooner or later hurt you. There are of course things that you should never let people do to you and just not say that you're good with it.

Never let people treat you bad. Be like me and just delete them from your life. If they don't think that you are enough, why would you even waste your time proving them wrong? Just say fuck it and find people who will go an extra mile for you. 

Quiet is difficult for me right now, the only way I can actually breathe is just to fill my life with the noise. That sounds so dramatic and maybe it is, but being me and living with the things I live now, just made me the person to do bad things and to surround myself with bad people and just loud things that can stop making me feel like it is all quiet. So, being the no-problem-girl sometimes means I have to really work hard in my head to be okay with the fact that people treat me okay. And all this things like opening up, being girly and especially trusting someone.

It takes a lot of courage and a lot of time and a lot of heart breaks for me to just say how I feel and there is 80% chance that I won't show you any emotions if you hurt me. Because it took me such a great deal to do those things for someone and if you let me down on that, you are, sooner or later, out. Gosh, I sound like a proper girl right now hah.

I am constantly torn between being good and loving great people and just going for the old, bad habits. I know what you are thinking... It is not that hard to do the right thing - well, it is to me. Because if I am hurt I think about how I can mess something up to show people they don't know me at all and just give them a reason to piss off. 

Man, I swear to god, it is not as hard to understand as it is to say, but long story short, if you are a great guy, but you don't meet my expectations, there are only small amounts of my ”no problems” before I shut you out and before I make something stupid to prove you that you don't know me at all, and you never will. And whenever I do something stupid, I normally want people to stay, but I act like I don't, because how can you expect that someone would stay if you hurt them back? It is funny, but if you treat me bad, I always come back. There is a great line from a book called The Perks of Being a Wallflower: we expect the love we think we deserve. And sometimes my bars are set to just the 'hurt me and leave me' and maybe it is because I never really thought that I deserve to be loved, I don't know. And I do want to change that, I do. So, maybe by saying it out loud first will do something and make me change a little. 
You are not Fiona (from Shameless) or Lenny (from The Royals) or Effy (from Skins) or whoever, you are you. And if you meet someone who is cool and great and makes you feel like life is worth it, then maybe you should let them love you, even if its hard. But everyone deserves to be happy and loved. You are not an exception. HAHA, I just read on weheartit: everyone deserves a nice man, who thinks you're dope and texts you back. Who thinks you're funny and buys you tacos. Word! Just accept the fact that you don't need negativity and you don't have to get heart broken. 
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