nedelja, 29. januar 2017


One of the biggest struggles in this world, I say that, because I am struggling a lot with it, is doing something else. Going out of your personal little fluffy bubble, and try something new. 

If you are always going to do what you are already doing, you are never going to become a better person.

Being twenty, almost twenty-one, I started thinking about how to really evolve and do something defining with my life. That, for me, means maybe find a proper job, maybe move out and be more mature. Maybe it means start working on this blog more or buying a van and pass driving license and start my van life, I don't know. I know it definitely means finishing college and moving out asap.

Yet, I think that being twenty, and being me, that is kind of a difficult situation, because my family supports me and I am really the kind of person who wants to blog all day and do artsy stuff, but I want to move away and I want to start a life I always wanted, with dogs and travels and jobs and studying. But being twenty (since I am always making excuses based on my age) means I get to start considering my future in a whole new prospective, but my boy is still younger than me, he still see it differently. And that means that I will have to do it myself, on my own. Without any help. And I honestly fear doing those stuff alone, because of a constant feeling that I can't do it. But if I am always going to do the same things, I am going to be stuck here, doing what I am doing now and thats not who I want to be. I want to do better things, I want to grow up a little, not too much, but just enough to really be able to have things I always wanted, and to be happier.

Being afraid of doing things alone sucks, and I hate the thought of me going to work, yet I have to do it, because it is time, it is what will make me happy. I am not happy with who I am now, that is probably the main reason why I am struggling with posting blogs, because sometimes doing something for the first time, alone, is scary. But its not impossible. Almost everyone is doing it and I am not doing it. I see my friends getting married and having kids and moving in with eachother, and I am not saying that I envy them, I just want something more to happen with my life. And doing nothing about it, is not going to help me get there.

And right now I am doing nothing.

The moto I invented (that probably already exists, its super accurate) that I am trying to live by is: "You can do anything if you want it enough". And I will try to listen to my own advice more.

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