nedelja, 30. april 2017

YOU CAN'T LOVE SOMEONE BACK TO LIFE

The main reason why you can't really love someone back to life is just simply because life is constantly happening. You live in a certain moment, but that moment is already gone as you just now thought of it. Moments are passing, so that new ones can happen. Time doesn't stop for anyone. Especially not for me. By 'especially' I mean if there was a way, I would have figured it out by now - and that means that it never ever will. Maybe someone will figure out how to stop time and freeze a moment, but I don't think it is going to be me anyway.

One of the hardest lessons I have learned in my life is loosing something for ever, that still exists. If I rephrase it - loosing someone, who is still alive.

So often do people think that when someone is hurt so much, they can just love them back to life. I don't get it people - you have to really be horrible to make someone loose that sparkle. How many people suffer right now, to the border when the only thing they have in mind is to commit suicide. And if you think that because you have treated someone bad that a simple sorry will make it all better you are wrong. And if someone hurts someone dear to you, no matter how much you try to make it better instead of them you can try the hardest but it won't be enough.

When you are thrown out there to live a tragedy that can't be changed, people somehow adapt throughout time, but sometimes when life gives you a human, who is supposed to love you more than anything - but he doesn't, you can't adapt, no matter how hard you try not to feel anything. And that makes me sad, because I really love people, I give a lot of chances, just because I have faith in humanity, I trust that everyone is the best version they can possibly be, and if you give them a good chance, they might surprise you. They might give you a miracle. But then again, I used a word 'might', and might means that there is a good chance they won't.

And the hardest thing when they let you down is that you don't let anyone else in. Because it's scary and there is a chance that they might do the same to you as a person before. And before you I was fine. And if I let you in, that means there was a lot of considerations included and a lot of fear and a lot of insecurities, but once you are in my life, believe me I won't do anything that could ruin what we have.

Because I went through 20 great birthdays without you, I turned out just fine without you, I am likeable, I learned a bunch of new things without you, I can cook, I got a job without you, you had zero part in what I am today, you don't know who I am, or what I can do, because you were never there for me, when I needed you, and I don't need you now. Simply I don't need you now, because you can't teach me anything that I can't teach myself, especially not how treat my family or how to love, which to me is one of the most important things.

I am determined to build a home for me, and for people I love and of course my animals. That is my number one priority, to find myself again, let go of the people who are angry with me for no reason and create something that will make me happy. Because often do people forget the biggest key to success - and that is to be happy and to look for happiness in things and in life in general.



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