nedelja, 16. december 2018


nedelja, 16. december 2018


We have been feeling super lucky and special when we got the news that we were chosen to test out a new dog brand and soon enough Eko brlog will sent us a few product from a brand known as Beco Pets. The product we got were impressive. My dogs immediately chose which toy will be Thor's and which will belong to Orca. The one thing that stood out from all others, that even I was really excited about was BECO RUBBER HOOP ON A ROPE.

It is a toy that is made of natural rubber and natural cotton and it is perfect for a game of tug. Orca has many toys. More than she needs, but this toy has a very special meaning, because we use it for her training session in puppy school. It doesn't squeek and it has a perfect grip for owners and dogs, so it makes one on one game much easier and enjoyable. Sizing couldn't be more perfect and the fact that I can actually just put it on Orca's neck makes it much easier to carry it around and it looks cute as heck for taking photos. #doitforthegram. I wasn't expecting it to be this durable, but so far there is not a single teeth mark on it and we have been using it for almost two months on a daily basis. If it survived my dog's baby teeth than I am pretty sure it can survive a volcano-cunamy-sand storm-anything kind of situations. making it smell like a vanilla was probably the ultimate mistake, because now every time before I start playing with her I need my five second sniffing it.

Orca loves it. Whenever I just show her the toy she automatically connects it to play time and starts running around in circles. Because she is a retriever and her favourite toy is ball, I was afraid that she was not going to adopt this toy and like other toys more. But that was not at all the case. If I put 10 different toys on the ground for her to pick one, this is the one she will chose. And it is the one I would chose. I can't praise it enough to my friends and family.

I am not payed to write this and I would just like to say that this is, 100 %, my honest opinion. So, if you are interested in this amazing toy, you can buy it here:
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sobota, 15. december 2018

My dogs wear clothes more expensive than my clothes.

sobota, 15. december 2018

My dogs wear clothes more expensive than my clothes.

On the other hand, they also eat more expensive and better food than I do. But let's get there. Let me explain it to you why it is so important that they have that, because it seems to me that you don't understand.

This is Orca. Her coat was 74,90 euros. For 2 kg of her food I give around 14 - 23 euros. I also buy her meat/bones and other supplements at lest two times per week. And now multiply that, because I also have a dog named Thor. And a bunny, but luckily he is vegan.

"Dogs don't need clothes, they have a coat already."
My dogs are no wolves. They live with me in my apartment and I never even considered having them outside. I got them because I love dogs, they are my whole life and I work with them and spend a lot of time with them. You would have to be insane to get them outside chained or outside in a crate. That is just my personal opinion and I don't care if your dog is long coated and you think it belongs outside, I does not. When I feel like my dogs need to go out I either take them for a walk with a leash or I take them somewhere far away from people and let them roam. I also have a backyard. Knowing that my dogs live inside with me, can connect you to a though that they live feeling the same temperature as me. I am also very picky when it comes to temperature in my apartment, I have arthritis, I like it warm. And when I go out, when there is cold, I am cold. Logical isn't it? So, why is it so impossible to believe that when my dogs go out when its cold, they are won't believe this... cold.

"Why do you need dog ''clothes''?!"
They need any protection they can't get. Yes, they have fur. Orca is also getting her long coat. But it is definitely not enough. Because if I see my dogs shaking outside, it gives me an intuition that they need warmth. So, with each dog I decided to buy them a coat, for when I take them out. Orca here, is rocking her Extreme Warmer by Hurtta and Thor actually has a coat that my mom made for him. He also has a jacket. And a heath protecting shirt. And a lifeguard swimming vest that costed almost 100 euros. He is just that extra. And most importantly... he needs it. Yes, he would survive without it, because I always make sure he is not exposed to extreme situations. But for that extra opportunities when I like to push it a little, like spending a lot of time in the water, or having to spend time outside in the summer or winter, those dog products are life savers.

"But Eva, why don't you buy something cheaper?!"
The answer is very simple. I buy something that I really love and know for sure it is good and I know I won't have to buy another one next year. Take it as an investment. One coat for many years sounds better to me, than one coat per year that is not even that good of a quality. I put a lot of time into deciding and researching what to buy, because I am a student without a regular job with two dogs, one bunny and one very hungry roommate, so I can't just throw money away.

"I still think it is a waste of money."
My dogs are my life. I am not comparing them to human babies, but I don't have a human child, so my dogs mean more to me than human babies. And when I will have a human baby I will probably love my dogs equaly as that baby, you can take it as a sad fact, but that is just my life. And I call money spent on my dogs well spent money. If you would take your child out poorly dressed in the middle of a winter it would be called child abuse. There are people that leave their dogs outside being cold and alone and people that don't even care how their pets feel when being outside. I call them abusers, because you chose to have an animal, no one forced you to have it, it is your responsibility. To me it makes no difference. Both dogs and baby humans can't do anything about it. Both are alive. Both feel the same things. So if there are child rights advocates out there, take me as an animals advocate. Some think it's a waste of money. I think talking to people that think that is a waste of time.

Either way, you are allowed to have different opinions, but judging people that spend money on dog coats and dog gear is equal as not letting them have an opinion. Why do you care how others spend their money. Why is it so important for you to judge others. I don't judge you when you buy things I would never buy. Because honestly I don't care. Why do you?
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nedelja, 09. december 2018

Everything makes perfect sense

nedelja, 09. december 2018

Everything makes perfect sense

One door closes, another opens. Can't tell you enough how much I really lived up to this quote for the past year. For as long as I can remember I looked up to certain people and spend numerous hours on Youtube looking at famous youtubers and with time I started looking up to famous actors. For me it was getting lost in time and space and just being someone I was not. In my mind I am already married to Adam Driver and am BFF with Jodie Comer. I'll show you THE DARK SIDE and stuff. I realise how weird that sounds. But I loved being somebody else for at least just a minute. Don't even know why I stopped acting, the older I get the more sense it makes to me.

Being someone else made me feel a bit less lost and I am just growing up and starting my own life. I am 22 & a half and I haven't figured out what I should be doing just yet. Unfortunately not everybody knows exactly what they want at my age, okay, it is normal. But I am your man if you want to live up a really fun adventure today and I am your man if you wanna laugh the nights away, but I am not just quite there yet, where I would settle down and devote my whole life to one job or be a grown up. I promise you it is not fun being in my place right now, but I am just so happy about the fact that for the first time ever in my life I don't know what I want and I don't even care enough to do anything about it. The thing that scares me the most is just doing one boring thing for the rest of my life.

Normally I am super organised and I take my planner everywhere I go and plan literally EVERYTHING and times like this would freak me out. And I would start annoying my roommate and I would start crying obsessively when watching movies and I would not be able to go to sleep normally. I have a pattern. But right now I just hope I get to travel with my dogs a lot and take super derpy photos and love as hard as possible and sleep under the stars and write as much as possible. And I know it is not a really real goal, but that is what I hope to do. I hope my boyfriend supports my craziness and thinks I am the best human in the world. That is what I want. So many dog cuddles I never go to sleep sad or worried. Having Orca puppies one day maybe. Because oh man it would be a shame not to have mini Orcas.

This blog post is all over the place, but ever since I got Orca she flipped my life upside down. She is just so amazing and all I want to do in life is always have dogs and always love Thor & Orca. And I just hope that one day I will get as lucky and share that love around in form of mini Orcas.

What I want and what I currently am is just a girl that runs away from most of things and lives her own version of perfect. Without worrying what I should post on Instagram to get likes, without planning perfect photos and writing on time schedule. Without worrying about due dates at school and thinking about how others see me. Without buying a new dress every other week and thinking how my words will hurt others. That was the old Eva. Call it selfish, but don't judge it before you try it. I've been told quite a lot about how to behave and how to do things and how what I am doing right now is not the right thing to do for my age and I am starting to think other people don't know life at all. X MY HEART I can't be controlled, will never be tamed. In the end its how I feel that matters. Truly. And if I am good at anything I am good at telling people to do crazy things RIGHT about NOW. Time is now. Not stopping for anybody. And what you make today will be history tomorrow. Quite a big thought if you think about it.
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sreda, 05. december 2018

Watch me disappear without a trace

sreda, 05. december 2018

Watch me disappear without a trace

Sometimes I feel invincible, like I could walk the highest mountain and travel the world. I could write the most important piece of my life and take the best picture. Realising that I could actually be completely different person if I would only do one thing differently, it gives me this itchy feeling. I don't care about choices and how my life will turn out to be, don't get me wrong. I only care for living it as full and as fun as it is humanly possible. And I want to hike the highest mountain and travel the world. And I want to take the best picture everyday and write something really important. And most days I think I am.

If you asked me a month ago what I want to do with my life I would most likely say: "I want to move to some really cool country where beaches are long and winter feels like a chilly summer. With my computer, camera and my dogs. Blogging away the days." But if you asked me 5 days ago I'd say: "I really don't know. Maybe I don't want to do anything." If you ask me today I will say: "I really want to study more. Maybe Geology. So every day I can make rock jokes and laugh about the fact that I am not smart enough to be physicist or like scientist. Geology, man, real stuff." Don't ask where I get my ideas... I always have crazy ideas, it is who I am. A girl that lives for her dogs, speaks for captive orcas and wears her yellow rain coat every season of the year. Either you completely adore me or utterly hate me, nothing in between. 

So much happened and is still happening and I am really happy, but in moments like this, when I am the most productive and the most happy I can't find any words to describe a single thing. The thing is I am really freakishly good at disappearing. Turning invisible. Not talking and getting lost in life and obligations and inspiration and writing and taking photos. I get so happy that I don't have "time" to grow as a creator or as a blogger and influencer and photographer, because I get busy doing things that to me have more value at the time. It is a curse, really. 

No way you could ever ground me and make do only one thing in life. I admire people that can do one thing and be super successful, but that is just not me. I will never be like that. I will never have the most famous blog or the most famous dog or I will never sing the best and draw a masterpiece. I will be decent at everything, and I will forever be crazy and live wild and do something different than anyone else. Doing something that is NOT expected of me and do the opposite that my mom wishes for me to do. It is how I like it and how I want it. It makes me happy and when I look back at my life so far I have no regrets whatsoever. Zero.
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petek, 16. november 2018


petek, 16. november 2018


I've been planning and dreaming to get another dog since 2012 and it always felt kind of impossible for me, because I am a perfectionist. Me owning another dog would just have to be perfect, I was not settling for something half done. My list was long and I was determined. Money, time, space, moving on my own, some more money, lifestyle that would allow my dogs to go with me literally everywhere... And when I finally moved out, it was time. I was ready and after a really exhausting summer full of betrayal and tears, I met Lina and her family. I saw Orca. Honestly, I didn't plan Orca, she came to my life. It was a match made in heaven.

Everyone falls in love with Orca, from the first second they meet her. She is the most loveable dog you will ever see. With other words, she is a cuddle machine. She will throw herself, carelessly, to your hug. I haven't seen anything quite like it. She sleeps on my neck and smiles a lot. Sometimes when it is night and dogs are already sleeping in their crate, I flash them with my phone light to check if they are okay, and I see Orca creepy smiling at me back and it freaks me a little, because honestly she looks spooky, but also it warms my heart. She is just so happy all the time and won't let you be upset and that is just the best feature your dog can have. When we walk on the street, everyone stops to cuddle her and people always say that she is so precious and it makes me really proud. She doesn't have a single bad day or bad situation (except when I have to chase her with a ball, because she won't come inside).

Nothing matches her beauty. We could literally be standing by the most beautiful place of the whole seaside and watch the sunset and she would still attract more wow's than the view. Yes, she is a small bean, but she will grow and even if she stays this small, she is perfect already. I just love everything about her. She made me fall madly for her dark nose and white markings. Obviously everyone will say that their dog is the prettiest, but still.

She is quirky. There is no way she won't make you laugh. She makes this weird look when it looks like she ate her upper lip and she will just look at you with this funny face and I dare you to not laugh. She also just is clumsy as hell. That is something we have in common. But she once fell down a SINGLE stair and cried for 5 minutes. I thought that she hurt herself, but she was okay. And also when she is around Thor she just forgets about everything. And falls like she never learned to use legs. And she is the slowest eater in the whole planet. I gave her a single chicken leg to eat and I swear on my life that she was eating it for solid 80 minutes and she was still not done. You just have to laugh. The difference between Thor and Orca is that When I give Thor a bite of a sausage he eats in in less than 0.001 second and when I give Orca a bite she first licks it for around 5 minutes and then decides to eat it and eats it in 10 minutes. A single bite.

When I got her I immediately felt a strong connection between us. She was a really strenuous puppy. For the first two weeks she would NOT sleep at night and that meant I didn't sleep at night. Nobody slept in the night. And I would sing to her, cradle her and then I finally found a solution. I played her a song from Tom Odell (Somehow). I legit want to marry Tom's voice. Please play this song at my wedding. We have the same taste in music. She literally falls asleep every time I play that for her. It is a great song, it calms me down as well. I caught myself several times falling asleep on the floor right next to her listening to this song. She complicates when she needs to and I can't blame her, because I complicate a lot too. For me everything has to be perfect and I could be a professional planner, because I plan everything and if its not like I planned I complicate. Orca is exactly the same. If I were a dog I would be Orca. We both require a lot of cuddles and belly rubs. Both will purr and we need people to give us their full attention. I will also do anything for that piece of meat HAHA okay ignore this. I couldn't resist. The thing is we both stand out from the crowd.

Get you someone who will look at you the same way as Orca looks at me. She is utterly and completely loyal and there is no way you can convince her to leave my site. Ask anybody.

She is super clean. This one goes out to my boy Thor, who is a dog-pig and everything he touches is just dirty and disgusting. Orca is the opposite. She is the cleanest puppy you will meet. There was once one rice stuck on her paw and she would only walk with her three legs, holding the one with the rice up the air. I mean, she is crazy haha. You gotta love her. It is kinda hard to find a picture where she wouldn't smile. The greatest thing of owning a my Toller is just her will to work with me. She is smarter than most people. No offence. But I show her trick two or three times and she knows how to do it and practices it herself. I've been around plenty of Border Collies and man, I can say that she might be smarter. This whole time I just feel like I am criticising everybody. Just my observation.

Oh man, every flaw I can think about reminds me of myself and then I remember that that flaws actually make her the best possible puppy. I am just going to say this: I love her forever. No matter what happens. No matter how hard it will get or how simple. We are forever bonded and I will do everything in my power to make sure you have the best possible life and nothing bad ever happens to you. You are the best thing in my life. I don't know how to behave without you. I'd die if you go away.

No words in the world to describe how lucky I am that you had such a great family before you came into my life. It means everything. It is everything.
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četrtek, 15. november 2018

If I don't have you, at least I still have me

četrtek, 15. november 2018

If I don't have you, at least I still have me

This picture represents so many things, but for the sake of today's philosophy let's pretend that I was discussing something not so sexual. Let's pretend, hue. 

When I was really smol, I never imagined how I will have a boyfriend or be in love. When I realised I will have kids one day I just thought I will get them as a gift from someone (man, it sounds weird now). The thing is my mates always talked about boys and how they like them and love them and how nothing is more important than them. And when they asked me who I love I always just picked one random person in the room and said... "yes, that one, I love him so very much". But in reality I never loved them or even cared to put up with them. We can say that I did this so I would fit in with my friends. And the problem was that I never stopped doing that. I stopped caring about being cool and stuff, but I never just stopped picking random people that I don't really love and make them like me. 

And when I look back at how many people I actually dated and 'liked' aka had flings it makes me giggle. Not in a cute funny way. In a really weirded out what am I doing with my life kind of way. But at the age of 22 AND A HALF I can say that I really really really liked/loved exactly two people. But when one of those two broke my heart, yes broke... It was horrible for so long. Like for probably most of you, when you deal with heartbreaks. And I always write so much when I am unhappy. Fun fact: you can actually know when I was unhappy looking back at my blog content. The best-worst part of having your heart broken is the quick realisation that comes soon after.

Realising that no matter how I alone I feel, I will always have ME. That I don't need anyone to do something, to achieve something, to feel something or to be happy. And that is important to know. Even Eva, who always needed someone, doesn't actually need anyone. Cool. So... why am I dating somebody then? Because if I am perfectly good by myself, doesn't mean that I am not having a perfectly good time with someone else. 

People always mistakenly think that when we are alone, we are not reaching our full potential, but I always reached mine when I was completely and utterly alone. I read somewhere: "The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you." and sometimes I swear to god I feel like somebody wrote that line just for me. It is not about love and relationship and your boyfriend, it is about us and as soon as you silly brokenhearted people get it the better. 

There are so many different paths out there for us to take, so if you get lost in one, just take another. Metaphorically obviously... don't blame me when you take my rambles literally and actually get lost.
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sreda, 14. november 2018

The advice/criticism I received from my ex boyfriends/friends

sreda, 14. november 2018

The advice/criticism I received from my ex boyfriends/friends

Don't think too much into it and don't make this a game of guessing names. I just thought of this as a really fun and entertaining content while I go down the memory lane. 

1. "You should always think of yourself first. School should be more important to you than anything else."

2. "You're not really sad, you are just bored."

3. "Maybe if you wouldn't be so complicated you could see how simple this really is."

4. "The problem is that you are just the kind of girl that will go on loving somebody else, but really you should be here fixing the mess you've made."

5. "Stop thinking so much of the past."

6. "Can you please just start listening to happier songs and stop obsessing over fandoms. We all know you are not going to marry a 56-year-old who is already married to someone else."

7. "You shouldn't pout so much, it is not a good look for you."

8. "One tortoise is enough, we don't need so many."

9. "Stop using the heather so much, it is hot already." (every boyfriend ever)

10. "You're annoying when you are irritated and when you ignore me."

11. "Stop being a sore looser."

12. "I don't think dogs are for you. You can't own a dog if you are sick and be good at it."

13. "Stop fucking biting your nails, disgusting!"

14. "If I am going to watch that movie (eva's favourite) one more time, I will go psycho. You better not test me hehe."

15. "You should listen to your mother more."

16. "You can't have two favourite numbers - 3 & 7."

17. "You don't listen to rap if you only listen to three basic rappers."

18. "One Direction infection is not a real thing."

19. "I think it would be better if you would stop telling people your dog is your baby, because they always take it the wrong way."

20. "I totally see you as a police-woman one day. Everything can't be fair in life."

21. "Stop hating on your name, its nice."

22. "Let's run away together when we will be 18 and never come back, it is going to be so much better." (still holding onto that)

23. "If you feel like you need to do something just do it. If you have to tell somebody something do it asap."

24. "Your heart is not really broken right now, you will find someone better and then you can go on telling people your heart got broken. But this is definitely not it."

25. "Give your dad another chance."

26. "You won't be happy until your house is full of animals, is that actually what you're saying right now!? *pause* Okay, I agree. You won't be happy until your house is full of animals. You just need someone richer than me that has a house already."

27. "Stop talking in that annoying deep voice when you are pissed."

28. "You would make a great relationship therapist."

29. "If you name your future kid Summer everyone will hate it."

30. "Stop blogging about me!" (huehuehue)

I clearly do what I want.
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sobota, 13. oktober 2018

What is written in my stars

sobota, 13. oktober 2018

What is written in my stars

Hello everybody!

If I am being completely honest, I never believed in astrology, stars and sign attractions. Obviously, I always like to read if me and my crush are match made in heaven, but other than that I was never really interested in it. So, for today's post I decided to sign up on this big and famous astrology site and put down all my informations and just read it and go through what it says and I will tell you if I agree or not agree.


The Sun represents vitality, a sense of individuality and outward-shining creative energy. I agree to some extent, because I do have that creative vibe, but I am not very individual.

Taurus natives are sensual folk--and this includes sex, but extends to pleasures in all areas: they delight in the sensual pleasures of food, a comfortable blanket, a richly colored aquarium to look at, the smell of flowers or spring rain, pleasing melodies coming from their stereos, and so forth. Some might even say they live through their senses more than most. 100 % accurate.

The possessiveness associated with Taurus shows up in all areas of life in some way. Taurus likes to own things (and sometimes people). A nice home, a piece of land (this can be modest), a paid-off car, that aquarium mentioned earlier, a couple pets, maybe a solid business...In love and relationship, there is an earthy kind of possessiveness that may be considered jealousy by some, but there is actually quite a difference between being possessive and being jealous. Taurus natives are rarely jealous and petty. They do, however, think of the people they love as theirs--it adds to their sense of security. As horrible as that sounds, that is me. I always like to own boyfriends. They can only live for me and no one else haha, sounds so clingy, but if I know that they feel the same way I give them more space than normal people. But I just have to be reassured that they are mine. And I like pets, obviously. 

She is strong-willed. She has charm, and is tolerant and stoical. She likes pleasure and the good things in life. Appreciates the Arts. That's me, yes.

Weaknesses: obstinacy, laziness. She can be materialistic. Yes, I am lazy, but I consider myself as the opposite of materialistic. I can promise you that I am not.

Your compassion sets you apart from others, but try to work with it rather than let your compassion work against you by reinforcing your own sense of loneliness. What a good advice, for real, that is so me.

Likes to throw herself into the unknown and into adventure: she is agile, tough and enthusiastic. Attracted to long voyages, to discover the unknown. YEEEES! Audacious, bold and rebellious. Unable to stay in one place, is always ready to risk everything to achieve her goal. It almost seems like my mom is describing me.

Marriage is very important for her, for better or for worse. Cannot stand being alone. Likes business relationships, especially partnerships. This might sound stupid, but I really want to get married one day. I want someone who will be like so over the moon with me that we will both just want to marry right away and be together forever. And when we will be old we will laugh about how crazy we were.

Weaknesses: stubborn, obstinate, withdrawn. Slow to react. HAHAHA, stubborn is pretty accurate and I am kinda slow to react.

She has difficulty expressing herself, especially when young. Does not talk much, she does not speak for the sake of it. She works in remote and quiet places. She is discrete and philosophical. NO! Quiet is difficult for me and I am too dumb to be philosophical, but I do tend to make my own philosophies. A lot.

She can put down in writing everything that her imagination and intuition dictates. I always loved that about myself, but usually when I write something personal, I can't share it with anyone.

She may be impatient. She likes contradiction. Her arguments are noisy and animated. Hell yes. I can be very aggressive with my opinions and I like to impose others with my ideas. 

You will find yourself attracted by the occult and other mysteries but it is recommended that you avoid those subjects because they can generate certain fixations or obsessiveness. I am scared of how true this is. I will probably just write a single post about this.

She has big emotional highs. Either I have big highs or lows. Nothing in between.

She is full of contradictions. She is original, tending to the eccentric, violent, headstrong, impatient and irascible. She fights to the bitter end to overcome hurdles, and has the strength to overcome them. That's me. Quiet is violent.

She is interested in the occult. She can work in a field associated with death e.g. as a funeral director. Marriage can help financially, the spouse having money. HAHAHHAHA OH MY, I JUST DIED. If I were to see a dead body I would probably collapse. But I have a really curious personality and I probably feel what most people don't feel. I have a crush on almost everyone I meet, but then it fades away. HAHAH love the money part.

Interested in humanity. She is highly intellectual. She travels a lot. Her mind is always alert, even when sleeping, during which time she often resolves the problems of the previous day. People never believe me when I tell them I've always know how to lucid dream. And my eyes look very alert.

She cannot live a peaceful love life. She will have lots of adventures, lots of love-at-first-sights which will lead her into dangerous territory, will complicate and even perhaps poison her life. Good to know.

Love dominates her life. She could lose her head over someone to whom there's an intense attraction, which can become troublesome, because she loses all idea of reality. If she is not loved in return, so what - she will love for the two of them. With time, if the loved one loses patience, she will have difficulty disentangling herself and she can suffer enormously. It's best to look to a trusted outside source for guidance in vulnerable times. How accurate is this?! Sometimes when I read things like that and relate, I feel like the worst human ever, but I feel like that with every relationship I've ever and I loved for the both of us. And I always get crazy ideas and I lose the idea of reality. Sad, really.

I left out some sexy stuff, just because the majority of my readers are still underage. I thought this was going to be really fun, but I feel kind of down and all depresso. How can this be so accurate? I have no idea. It is like somebody that knows me wrote this text. Is this me? Is this my life? Well, I hope you enjoyed this, I certainly haven't. 
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četrtek, 11. oktober 2018

LET'S TALK ABOUT ME; part 3 (porn update, Kylo, girls)

četrtek, 11. oktober 2018

LET'S TALK ABOUT ME; part 3 (porn update, Kylo, girls)

Hello everybody!

Oh man, oh gosh... when was the last time we did this kind of posts? I feel like I sort of forgot about it, because sometimes I think that you don't want to read about me and my moods and life, but then you remind me of this and I get excited again. So, I decided to bring it back and this is the third part of 'Let's talk about me'. And I decided to answer your questions I got over time. Only the ones that would fit here. If you want to ask me anything, I always try to answer as soon as possible.

What is your style?
That is a really cool question I got ages ago. Well, at the time being it was really skater/tomboy kind of style. With lots and lots of layers. I would always wear skinny jeans and oversized hoodies and a baseball cap. And I would make my eyebrows darker than normal and have big puffy hair. And I would make my eyes appear bigger than they are, just because I had a phase of having big eyes, and now over time I realised that my eyes are already super big and making them appear even bigger is absurd haha. But now I guess, my style is still pretty much similar, but I dress more girly and something that fits me more. I have a really skinny waist and tummy, but then I have bigger ass and boobs, so I started dressing a bit more (not revealing but) flattering, if that makes sense.

How is your porn life doing?
Oh man, I wish I knew. Let me check it out. Okay, at the moment I can't find it, but I am sure its going better than my normal life.

Whos the person behind your stories, writing, inspiration?
There is never just one. Most of the time I write about people from my past, but not necessarily. Depends on the subject, time and my mood. The funny part is, I rarely prepare my topics and I never write in advance. I do keep a notebook with me all the time and it is full of ideas and drawings and random thoughts and darkest secrets, but when I usually start writing, a whole new idea comes out of it and it is almost always different from what I imagined it would be at the beginning. Also, I really enjoy writing stories, real and raw and funny and dark. I take content from my life & from people from my life. So, if you think it is about somebody you know, it might just really be that person, or not at all. Hope that this answer that is not really an answer helps haha. 

How are you?
I always like this kind of questions, thank you. I'd say I am really great. My health is okay-ish apart from my witchy-bloody-eye (really cool) and migraines I've been having (nothing major). Arthritis is doing okay. School is good and my dogs are perfect. I've also been feeling really inspired lately and there is a new job opportunity open for me and I am semi excited, semi worried. But this year we have been doing super practical things and writing a lot and taking pictures and editing much more than before, so I am feeling super duper.

What is the worst and the coolest thing you have done?
Let's start with the coolest, because my name is actually Eva Premk Monroe the Coolest. Nothing but stupid things come to mind, but I adopted Orca, I got Kylo Ren picture for my wallet (khm), I've been reading more and doing more fulfilling things lately and I am working a lot more. The worst... I am the kind of person who needs to be saved and I hate that. And I always drive people crazy because I made them love me and then I do everything the wrong way. But I try to be more easy to love. I feel too much.

Favorite quotes of 2018?
Favorite TV series?
Favorite music?
Favorite people?

There is only 24 hours and thats not enough to lie like you lie or love like you love.
She is a beautiful fucking rainbow and her beautiful face is the least beautiful thing about her.
You can't love somebody back to life.
Because some nights it was you who stopped my heart from breaking.
If I died, would you just be like: "Oh I hope I can make rent."
You should never be anyone's fucking slave. Except mine.
Well, when you love someone you don't have to be nice all the time.
If you come up here, I'm gonna tie you to my bed and keep you for at least 3 days, I'm just in that kinda mood.
Don't just think, okay? It is an extremely unattractive feature of your generation.
I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time and thinks I'm the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only me.
WWJD (What would Jessa do?)
You can't break up with me. I wouldn't be eating pizza in front of you if I actually liked you.
Who needs boys when you can have like sugar?

Handmaid's Tale
How I Met Your Mother (forever)
Killing Eve
Game of Thrones
The End of the Fucking World

Twenty øne Pilots
Lana Del Rey
She Will Always Hate Me (song)
Alex Ernst
Panic! at the Disco

Jodie Comer
Max Minghella
Imogen Poots
Kaya Scodelario
Andrew Scott
Jemima Kirke
Alex Karpovsky
Robin Lord Taylor

Okay, expect part 4.
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sreda, 10. oktober 2018


sreda, 10. oktober 2018


Hello everybody!

Let's go straight to the point. I am a witch.
On Sunday I watched a really funny stand up comedy show on Netflix called Ali Wong: Hard Knock Wife (I recommend it to all you beautiful dirty bastards like myself) and I laughed so hard, I cried actual tears. Sounds really cool, but some jokes were really so dirty and raw I was crying for the whole hour. I mean, she is the funniest person I have ever seen in my life. SO, because I was laughing so hard, I started bleeding from my eyeball. Super hot, I know. But supposedly I broke my eye vessel.
And some people find me super interesting and badass, but other people are actually afraid of me (my dream come true) and I would just like to say: Imma witch now. Come on, I look out of this world witchy, I have light blue eyes, brown curly hair and blood in my eyes. I just need a black cat and black coat. Thats not a problem for me, I like cats, I like to spook people. Its perfect. And its OCTOBER. Couldn't my eye vessel just wait for like three weeks until Halloween. That would be badass, just saying.
One more incident I had while having creepy eye. Someone actually stopped me at my Uni and asked me if I am aware of my bloody eyeball. So yes, I'm making friends with this thing. It is a win win situation. I hope this blood never goes away, because it is making me look like a sexy beast.
And also, I always like to say that introverts, like me, don't get friends, they get adopted by extroverts. With this creepy eye, I am more noticeable and more extroverts liked. Thank you Jesus. Or is it Satan... now that I am a witch?
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četrtek, 04. oktober 2018

Parallel worlds colliding

četrtek, 04. oktober 2018

Parallel worlds colliding

It is officially Fall. Or Autumn. 

There is a special excitement in the air when Autumn starts. It means that I will finally be moving back to the seaside and I will go back to University. But I will also light some really delicious-smelling candles and enjoy my cozy brown scarves. It is just the best time of the year, if you ask me.

At the very beginning, on my very first day of being back at Uni, I had an epiphany. We were discussing with the Professor the topic of writing. What makes an individual a good writer? Are you born with the ability of being a talented writer or do you grow into one if you put enough energy and practice into it? Do all good writers read? And I came to the conclusion that you can be good at many different things if you have a lot parallel worlds.

Parallel worlds are different interests of a certain individual, who is passionate about more than one certain thing.

Let's take me, for example. One day I aspire to write something that means something to someone. But at the same time I want to always include my dogs and photography and blogging into it. It makes me happy and if I include all those parallels into my life, I think I can truly make something big.

My Professor said: ''Nothing matters, if you don't do other things, besides school.'' In my case, he was trying to point out that I should read and practice more, if I want to write something good. Yes, my style and vocabulary has improved since 2012, but can I write something more significant than someone who studies Geography can? I still don't think I can. I am no where near ready, and I would really like to be. So, I officially decided to make this my 8-hours-a-day job. Not just blogging, but planning, taking photos, educating my dogs, editing and just thinking of ideas and hoping that I will be a bit closer to my goal.

And I wish that for you too. That you know what you want and even if you aren't near that goal, that you start doing something (besides school) that will get you closer to it. At least closer to the dream job of your life.
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sobota, 22. september 2018

they mistook my kindness for weakness, i fucked up, i know that... but jesus

sobota, 22. september 2018

they mistook my kindness for weakness, i fucked up, i know that... but jesus

I believe that I spend approximately 30 minutes a day just staring at nothing and thinking about random things and feelings.

Lately I realised that I have a pattern - when I come home from work I think about problems that others are facing and I analyse every situation and put myself in other's shoes. Since forever I thought as of myself as a more emotional than others. Not in a crying and whining kinda way, but I feel more than others, I guess.

For example captive orcas shocked me so hardcore I was completely numb for a week straight before I started taking action and trying to help. I get super angry when I see injustice and I feel personally attacked. Justice is my number one priority (read that in Crazy Russian Hacker voice). And I am so stubborn that no one can convince me otherwise. I am very closed minded when it comes to topics of war, murder, dying, pollution, drugs, rape etc. No way I justify any of it and will fight anyone who will try to convince me otherwise.

The same goes for my human interactions. So many times I caught myself analysing why my friends or boyfriends did a certain thing. I am able to completely shut down my feelings if it will make more sense to understand why I am arguing in the first place. That is why I am also so forgiving and will always go beyond my feelings if I understand you.

And I could hate someone for 5-10 years and then with one simple explanation why they did what they did I would stop hating them and be forgiving. I don't know if that is how everyone deals with this things, but I am most certainly like that since forever. I could hate my dad for years and with a simple call and bunch of explanation I could be his perfect little girl again. I am just saying that I am easy target for manipulation. I am too rational and I feel too much. What a bloody great combo.

Are people born with it? Are you raised to be like that? How did I end up like that?
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četrtek, 30. avgust 2018

If my boyfriend tells you I am the worst human being and you believe it...

četrtek, 30. avgust 2018

If my boyfriend tells you I am the worst human being and you believe it...

... I DON'T CARE, because if you take the time to get to know me you quickly realise I am cool.

I mean, I am not trying to brag but I saved and raised my own chicken when I was 12 and I never told my mom. I dare you to not adore me.
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sreda, 29. avgust 2018

They won't play what I feel on the radio.

sreda, 29. avgust 2018

They won't play what I feel on the radio.

I am not distant, I am not lonely and I don't ever regret being the way I am, because I have no intentions to be sorry for being me.

The thing about getting sick is that it changes you. Not necessarily in a bad way, but in a way that your friends are not used to. For me it was one day I was doing crazy things and hanging out with my best friends and the next it was hospitals and treatments, and bad news, and side effects and frustrations and some more bad news. A drastic change. So it was only normal that I changed somehow. 

But never, since the first day of getting this diagnosis, I even considered apologising to anybody for who I became. For what I say and do differently and for not fighting to keep friendships and having different priorities. Sometimes when things happen to you, you have to survive and just hope that friends will stick and be there for you. And when they don't... you know things aren't going well for you when you can't even tell people the simplest fact about your life, just because they will presume you're asking them to feel sorry for you. I guess it's why you feel so far from everyone, in the end; anything you can think of to tell them just ends up making them feel terrible.

The funny part is that you don't even think about ex-friends, you stop caring, because the survival instinct kicks in and you only think about yourself and how your family will accept this and how miserable life your husband is going to have because of you and you feel sorry for yourself and at the same time you try to stay brave. You have to get selfish to get better. But never in the whole process there is the scenario where I would feel the need to give my attention to other people, as horrible as it sounds.

And then magic happens. 

I watch a lot of House MD and I've seen the episode where there are 5 stages of grief and I kinda realised that was me af:
1. DENIAL & ISOLATION: for a long time I didn't even realised I was actually sick even after I got my diagnosis and the first treatment. And I lost most of my friends.
2. ANGER: I was the angriest, blaming my doctors, medications, my family, everyone. Just purely I felt so much anger and I couldn't stop blaming my friends for not sticking it was really bad and frustrating.
3. BARGAINING: Literally, I tried to make a deal with God or some higher power to take this away, and you should know that I am not religious person anymore. Made a lot of ''if only...'' sentences and I believed that I was to blame that this was happening to me.
4. DEPRESSION: I am not entirely sure if I am in this phase or over or even started being in it, because the whole process was depressing for me.

I started feeling better. 

For some reason, I feel better. Back in shape and leading almost normal life again. Everything is the same I still go to hospitals almost every week for something new, but I am physically and emotionally great and despite the pain, I almost don't feel it. Actually I subconsciously block it and pretend its not happening to me. It also helps that I live for my love for dogs. Can't express how excited I am to work with Orca. She also helped so much with being active 24/7. 

If you look at it like this, I am actually lucky to even be this sick. I got rid of all the fake people who had only benefits from hanging with me. I got super strong and I practically became a doctor, because I can tell you everything about everything. I met lovely people and Orca happened. I MOVED. Met the love of my life and realised that if he can stay with me after all this then he must be the one. Sometimes what you want and what you need are two completely different things and I know that now.
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petek, 10. avgust 2018

Moondkissed Orca ♥

petek, 10. avgust 2018

Moondkissed Orca ♥

The time has come, holla 'migos, I am back and more driven than ever. In the meantime when I was away, I got a puppy and I had to put all my energy and my existence to this dog because well, that is me and that is this dog. Life is good. Life is perfect. Actually, it couldn't be better. We are all so happy.

Here she is, my sweet little princess. The one creature I waited so long for and she is more perfect I ever imagined she would be.

This is Orca. She is a Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever and she is 2 months old and she was the green girl from the most stunning litter I have ever seen. She has 5 siblings and two amazing breeders that I will never be able to thank enough.

Clearly we have to start at the beginning, so let's start with the fact that I knew which puppy I wanted, because I waited for it to be born for more than a year, but it didn't turn out the way I wanted it. SO much unnecessary drama, SO much anger and SO much bullshit... not what a puppy owner ever wants to experience. The last minute we had to cancel a BC. The best decision of my life. At the time I didn't feel like that, I was down and angry with people who made this experience a living hell for me and you could say I was the definition of a wreck. I blocked a bunch of fake friends and went back to work because I wanted a puppy eventually and I wanted it to be my perfect puppy, not just because it is the first puppy I see.

If it was not meant to be it was not meant to be, but it was. Because the next day I talked to Orca's breeder just to let her know I loved her work, because I was impressed with what an amazing litter she had, nothing more. The next week we already scheduled a puppy visit. And that is how I met Orca and fell in love with her and decided I wanted THIS dog. We decided not to choose puppies, but let the breeder choose it for us, so we could get the perfect dog based on character, not looks. And somehow the breeder chose Orca for us, it was unbelievable, I remember I was shedding happy tears and jumping up and down. We went for another puppy visit and then it was time to count the days she was going to be, officialy, ours. I was restless, couldn't sleep and was... I believe the term is obsessively nesting.

She was the first one to go and I was so excited to get her. So now is the perfect time to tell you that life kicks you around sometimes, it is unpredictable but somehow in the end everything turns out to be okay. Orca is the smallest puppy from the litter, which makes her the most adorable; she was picked to carry green color, which is my favourite color; she has the biggest heart, but doesn't open up to everybody right away, same as me; she was born on a full moon and I love moon; she has been named after her mother Ora, and orcas are my favourite animals. So if you don't think it was meant to be, you are wrong. She is perfect.

For the first week, it was tough, because mommy and daddy (me&Nejc) didn't get any rest. We were so exhausted and after a week at being home 24/7 it was time to go to work. After work we would spend every minute with them and crate train her and just take her everywhere. Obviously she has flaws, but to me and Nejc she is a gem. Thor loves her, but sometimes he finds her annoying haha, because she can be to him. But other than that no dog in the world ever is better or more suitable for us (except for Thor). She is so fearless, so cute, brave and funny. Not to mention she is super playful and just crazy. In all together, we got lucky, because you can't blame this on anything else but faith and luck.

My family helps so much and I wouldn't be able to get Orca if it wasn't for them. But mostly Nejc, my rock. Btw, Orca is such a daddy's girl, it is insane. She is not just my dog, its our dog and I will never claim her as only my dog, because the way Nejc is with her and me, it would warm your heart. NEVER EVER DID I OR WILL I LOVE ANYONE HALF AS MUCH AS YOU AND THAT IS A PROMISE.
Also, the breeders, will never be able to thank them enough for everything they thought me, and for trusting me and just being the best people. Not enough words to describe how lucky we are that Orca had such an amazing people in her life already before us. It makes it all worth it.

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