četrtek, 22. avgust 2019

Take one box a day.

četrtek, 22. avgust 2019

Take one box a day.


One of my dear passions is bullet journaling. Over the years I've had countless notebooks, journals, to do notebooks, little notepads and similar kind of papery devices. It helps me stay organised, but above all else, I write down my everyday adventures in it that I want to remember, it makes me happy. This one has a lot of pictures in it and plans and notes. And it is not really a secret that lately I've not been the best. Mentally. Physically I've actually been thriving.

I don't feel the best when I am in Mengeš. Deep down I don't like accepting it as my home. I don't have a daily routine or goals here. I just come here to let the three months pass and I can't wait to go back to Koper. It sounds sad, but I like my life by the sea more than anything else. One more good month to go and then I am going back.

But it has been hard. I work hard to stay happy every day and not to be a downer for everyone else around me. Because I know I can be a pain in the ass. Nevertheless, I created this idea that I called 'take one box a day'.

It is basically me planning every day in my bullet journal and then taking one box of problems a day. Today I am actually taking two, because I am brave and dramatic. But I think it is so important for my state of mind that I don't take too much upon myself, when I am feeling this low. So, every problem I solve gives me a weird satisfaction to know I am actually okay and that life is not really that hard. Because life really isn't that hard for me and I acknowledge that. Sometimes I get lost because location is a huge factor for me. It has always been a huge factor, since I moved like 13 times already in 23 years of my life.

So, like I strongly suggest that if you are waging war in your head sometimes, like I do, that you don't  wage it yourself. Talk and write. Writing for me, makes all the difference in the world. And maybe try the 'take one box a day' challenge if you think it might help. I think the hardest part in life is to rebuild yourself, it takes a strong person.
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I am at war, but at the end of the day I rest easy

I am at war, but at the end of the day I rest easy


My dogs are absolutely perfect. Perfect couple of mischievous asses, but I love them more than life itself. Every day I go rest easy when those two licking my face. I get to the sort of calm state of mind that everything is just right the way it is. So, I gathered some of the pictures from the last couple of months, for your viewing pleasure, of course.



















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ponedeljek, 15. julij 2019

people pretend you are a bad person so they don't feel guilty for the things they did to you.

ponedeljek, 15. julij 2019

people pretend you are a bad person so they don't feel guilty for the things they did to you.


I am a total textbook person and you won't need any manuals with me to figure out what I think and how I feel and what I want because I will tell you and I will show you. You will get a very clear notice. That is a very cool thing feature I have, I think. I live a simple life and I can't stand drama. If you do me wrong I will let you know and I will try my best to fix the situation and there are not many bad things in the world you could do to make me hate you for real. But if someone wants to deliberately hurt me, that stuff hurts me the most. I can deal with accidents and mistakes, but don't hurt me on purpose.

Because I have too much dignity to hurt people back. It can't be done, it doesn't feel right and I don't have it in me. On the other hand I have no problem of removing anyone from my life. I will lose your number and block you from all social media. I call it 'cleansing'. It is hard for a second, to click on that button. It is hard to delete what I cared about so much for so long. But once I do it, I don't feel sad anymore. Because if I do that, this is it. I don't want you in my life anymore. And I won't create fake profiles to stalk you. I won't have the need to. Sometimes I think to myself that it is cold and that I can't feel as much as others, but I quickly realise how awesome it is to be loved by me (and I mean friendships more than relationships) because man, I love big.


Once you are out of my life, I am pretty sure there is no way back in. And no sneaky business will help you here. You can pretend I am a bad person all you want, if that will help you feel less guilty for the things you've done, I don't mind. But just know I have you all figured out. And you can cause all the drama and I won't move a muscle. Because like I said. Once you are out, you are out for real. But just know that what you decide to do, you are always doing it to yourself. If you are doing bad things to hurt others, you are actually going to end up hurt. And if you do good things, it is good for the soul at least. If that makes sense.

That is why it is so important that you loose all the negativity and live as simple as you can. It is good for the soul. I know for sure most of the toxic people from my life are long gone and ever since I felt my true self.
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sreda, 05. junij 2019

I don't call myself a feminist.

sreda, 05. junij 2019

I don't call myself a feminist.

I don't call myself a feminist, because most men and women will think I am one of those crazy girls they saw on the news once, screaming things that don't even make sense. But I am a strong believer that both males and females (and others) should be treated fairly equal. See, I am not asking for girls to be able to do things most men are good at if they aren't good at them. I am not asking for you to say "men should experience pregnancies and periods". That is absurd. I am just asking and believing that both genders can understand one another, and then in response be equal.

It saddens me that a lot of people don't understand or even try to understand the opposite sex. We all have it hard and easy. We take sides and defend ourselves. Girls expecting guys to ask them out first, to text them first, they want them to have a lot of money, a nice car and to treat them like princesses without doing that in return. On top of that, they take pride if a man calls them hard to control, hard to deal with. And men, looking for a type like "cute, but psychopath". That scares me. Because my mom taught me to treat a man with respect and seek for that respect everywhere I go. I don't want to raise all seven hells for somebody I love because I am a psychopath.

We had to write a paper on our ideal boyfriend/girlfriend. They even said "don't leave out any details, write about the height, hair, eyes, clothes, characteristics... The more details, the better." And I sat in front of my computer and wondered what on earth is my ideal guy. All I could write was:

"I want someone, who will be able to talk things through with me when we disagree and will want to spend time with me. BONUS points: it helps if he considers me as the best person in the world and sends me memes, but no pressure."

When we had to read that, it felt like everyone wrote car ads. Let's just say that the teacher didn't appreciate my almost empty paper, which is absurd if you ask me. But I don't think my dream guy should have a head full of curls, brown eyes or wear certain clothes. I am just looking for someone I will enjoy spending time with and they will enjoy spending time with me. And I get particularly sick when girls wrote that they are looking for a rich guy. It is a joke. If you want money, earn it. If you want a nice house or a nice car, get it yourself. I am not done, the number one thing guys wrote was skinny. Please. I get that you have to be visually attracted to someone, but number one thing - skinny?!

Maybe it is just me, but do people have weird priorities. Imagine what would happen if boys wrote that same paper with the same words girls chose to describe them and girls wrote "skinny" and "cute phycho". Everyone would be offended.

The one thing I wanted to talk about is being equal. Equal work, equal paycheck. Female judges, Male chefs. The worst thing you could do is bring somebody down based on gender. Think!

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torek, 14. maj 2019

I'm a fan of your UNIVERSE

torek, 14. maj 2019

I'm a fan of your UNIVERSE







I think having two so different dog breeds that are also so different in character is so great. Sometimes I think they do everything the opposite on purpose just to show me how different they are. When me and Nejc talk about future dogs we will own. My first thought is always more Tollers, but somehow I can't imagine a life without Boxers as well. Together they are perfect and I wouldn't change them at all.

Having them is my biggest blessing and no words will ever explain how lucky I am to be trusted with each one of them. The fact that they are true loving and caring siblings is all I ever wanted.
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torek, 07. maj 2019

Now my life is sweet like cinnamon

torek, 07. maj 2019

Now my life is sweet like cinnamon

Pick me up and take me like a vitamin.


I'm gonna love you with all I've got. Even if it kills me, you're the one I want.

Forever embraced.

And if I am going down, I am going with a bang.

Ten thousand promises, ten thousand ways to lose.

But you like me for it.

The worst thing you've ever done, the darkest thought you've ever had, you said I will stand by you.

I tell you what you wanna hear. And I never wanna live in fear.

I got you figured out.

And I know I'll never be your chosen one.

You can't tempt me if I don't see the day.

Better not to breathe than to breathe the lie.

But oh, my heart was flawed and I knew my weakness.

The worst is that I don't even remember it all. Remember that I love you.

Oh so, your wounds they show.

Beg me now for anything.

For one more day.

And I will look up and call to the sky. Look up and never ask why.

You got eyes so azure. Quiet in jet black.

And I let go but jump back in.

Nobody knows who I am. They just think they do. But I am made of stars and dust and you.

With your big eyes and your big lies.

To my surprise my love's demise.

It's amazing what women in love will do.

When the night was full of terror and my eyes were filled with tears.

I had all and the most of you, some and now none of you.


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ponedeljek, 06. maj 2019

Come and get your love

ponedeljek, 06. maj 2019

Come and get your love

Got the question a few weeks ago to describe my perfect guy. And I'll admit, I thought about it. A lot. I think too much sometimes, it's not good for me. But I don't usually like to think about girly things. I like to play video games, watch movies and spend time with dogs and take photos. 

But for starters, I don't like perfect things and I am 99 % sure there is no such thing as a perfect human, I guess I will try to explain what I look for in a guy. 


Must love dogs: That is the number one thing I look for in people. Because I spend such a considerable amounts of my time with dogs and I don't intend to limit that time. I think I always got lucky when it comes to others loving my dogs. The two rockets are hard not to love. 

Must be funny: Honestly, it is weird to say this out loud but I never looked for anyone skinny or fit or anything specific. My friends are always like I want someone with brown eyes and a hot body and taller. If anything I prefer the other way around - I really like 'different' and I always get my eyes on someone unusual. But I love people that are funny. I am really kinda shy when I first get thrown into situations and I like someone to make me laugh because then I can relax easier. And show my true creepy self. I live for laughs honestly. The biggest flaw I think I have is I never take anything seriously. 

Must watch and play everything I command him to: DC, Marvel, HIMYM, GIRLS, Narcos, Inception, A Long Ways Down, Need For Speed, horror movies, Call of Duty, Game of Thrones, Killing Eve and many more. Because that is what I am talking about 50 % of the time. The other 50 % is about Thor and Orca.

As girly as this is going to sound, he must be adventurous: I love walks and hikes, I love road trips, I like deciding in a spare of the moment to do something or go somewhere and I don't like it if anyone is pushing me down when it comes to being crazy. 

I think those are the only 4 things that I will even think of. I am sorry I am not girly enough to keep a database of guys and their features. But I think the problem about this whole 'ideal boyfriend' thingy is that I don't necessarily look for somebody who would fit the 4 things described.

My ideal human is someone who will fit. Who will be my best friend and will be able to even handle me, because sometimes I can't even handle myself. I got lucky. But I want someone who will sing with me to car radio and will carry me when I am tired and dying , tag me to memes and will listen to me complaining about my pain and will think I am the best person in the world. Someone who will go to hospital appointments with me lmao khm, that is my number one wish. And watch LPD with me every Friday and drink wine on a porch and gossip about neighbourhood dog owners. Like I just want someone cool. Not perfect; someone independent that will still have his own life but will never forget that home is a place to come back to because I am there. And Thor and Orca. 

But I am pretty sure anyone who wouldn't return me to my mom after a 24-hour trial would qualify. Thank god I am so lucky!


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sreda, 17. april 2019

CORNERSTONES

sreda, 17. april 2019

CORNERSTONES


All I wanted to do - I did. Did you?
I mentioned this before but I define the term absofuckinglutely.
When I was younger I used to play this game called Cap Ou Pas Cap with two other people and we took it really serious. Whenever somebody would chicken out from something the other one would dare them to do it and there was no other option but to do it or the game was forever off. It is how I broke my nose in front of 50 people and how I had the best night of my life and kissed boys I would never dare to kiss. I became the it 'fuck it' girl and did the craziest things because of a simple game. You are either Cap or Pas Cap. And I am Cap. That always stayed with me.
The greatest thing is that it possesses you and you become competitive and you keep looking at ways to dare to do things you would never actually dare to do. But as much as I always talk about this child's game, I would not recommend it to young people to play, just putting a disclaimer out there. Don't be like me boys and girls, you will either end up with a broken nose or a broken heart (oh man, that sounds so poetic).
When the dog gang was formed I was always there. I would sleep for an hour and then go and whenever anyone was missing, I was there. I would never say no and I would be freezing cold, dead tired, but I was always ready. That is me, never ever missing out on adventure or friends or crazy things we did.
That is really great, but I never built any stable cornerstones for myself and there was never one certain thing for me to go back to. I guess you could say I always knew I wanted to live like that. Never knew where I will be tomorrow or what the future brings. And it is funny because I always carry with me a beige notebook that has everything planed out for me, even for 20 years in advance and I like to look at it as a reminder of how crazy it all is because nothing is going according to my plans.

But if stable life is the price for the fact that I did everything I wanted, I don't mind.
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torek, 02. april 2019

Good girl, hood playlist

torek, 02. april 2019

Good girl, hood playlist


Salty hair and sandy ass in April. My life keeps changing drastically.

I've been dealing with evening pain for a few months, again, now that I am off the main meds and let me tell you - I've been miserable. The worst thing is that I talk to people with a straight face and tears would stream down my face without me actually crying. It is hard to explain why. But imagine plucking your nose hair out and a tear just streams down you face. That is me for the last few weeks. 

It has been hard, I am not gonna lie. But I think it is rewarding if it means I get to live life like normal people. And maybe one day have kids. NOT NOW MOM! Maybe one day when someone will want to make me their wife. NOT THAT I HAVE TO BE MARRIED MOM!

There is plenty of time for me to go down with this disease in the distance future, but not now. I even started living healthy. No white flour and no milk. I actually like it despite the fact that I love food and I don't want to miss out on any food ever, but it at least makes me feel a little better about the fact that I am doing something for myself. I am adding longer walks or rollerblading to Izola to my daily routine, now that Orca is not a little baby anymore and she can actually walk. 


I kinda got lost a little and just today I realised that I am such a basic good girl, but with a hood playlist. When I was walking my usual walk to FHŠ (my Uni) I saw a homeless man, who was minding his own business and was not rude at all and I was just about to pass him by when this old grandpa showed from no where and started harassing him and I told myself ''Evs, you got yourself into enough shit with this random stunts, walk it off, let it go...'' and you guessed it - I didn't walk it off. I swear I am such a good girl, but somewhere inside me there is a bad bitch hiding to come out for moments like that. And I know how this sounds, trust me, not my proudest moment but I went psycho on a 70 year old grandpa. If there is something I really can't stand is others being rude and seeing injustice. I am too old (soul haha - get it? Cuz I am a 22 year old with a disease for old people) for this.


Now as promised I am giving you my hood playlist. Actually its not even hood, it's just what I've been listening lately. That's why you are here, right?
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nedelja, 24. marec 2019

Can I get a puppy from Orca?

nedelja, 24. marec 2019

Can I get a puppy from Orca?

Orca is very sweet and cute. Everyone loves her and I get it. If I saw her on the street I would really be interested in her too. Because she is for one a Toller pup and there are not many Tollers out here and two she is a really freakishly cute small beast. That is why I get asked a lot.
"Will you have puppies with her?"

I didn't get her for breeding. That is a fact. Orca is my adventure freak, travel buddy, training companion, my bundle of joy. Her character is beyond words and it is really hard and really fun to train her to be like I want her to be. But when I was thinking of getting her, it was for all the things she is, not necessarily for breeding. And that is why having puppies with her is on the back of my mind still. 

I've done a lot of research and I think I know my fair share of Toller genetics, since last two months I've done nothing smart in school, but do my research. It is not because I want puppies, but because one day if I want pups I want to be educated on it. And I don't want to do retrieving because one day I want puppies, but because I want to do retrieving. 


What does breeding mean to me?
It doesn't mean me wanting puppies. It is hard to explain that one. I don't want to be selfish in this case and breed Orca because I wanted mini Orcas. And trust me I want mini Orcas. A hundred Orcas would not be enough, she is this perfect. That is why it is hard to explain, why I never want to be selfish when I explain what breeding is to me. No matter how perfect Orca is to me and to my friends and strangers I meet, I would only breed Orca if she fits the standards, if it would improve the breed, and that itself only. I want to do it right. And now she is still just a pup. My little young lady. I want to work on making Tollers even greater, not breed because ''I want pups''. 

And I know the perfect place to get more Orcas, and they know even more than me and they want the same things. 

And if I think about it, it would be so hard to let go of puppies. I can't imagine what it must be like to give them away to their new home, I would probably cry a lot and end up keeping more than I should. And finding a perfect home sounds so hard. Because all I want for all the dogs in the world is to get a perfect spot in the family and live the carefree days and be treated like the legends that they are! Dogs don't deserve humans, and that is why they just deserve to be loved and treated right. 

The problem is that I could write all day about this, but the point is I am not there yet. I wanted to write this down for everyone asking me and share how I feel. Orca is so young and we have a whole lifetime ahead. I keep it in mind, guys, but right now, we are focusing on adventures, fun and cuddles, summer swimming, camping, retrieving, training and just living life to the fullest! In the end, Orca always comes first.
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torek, 19. marec 2019

I'm rich in love with you!

torek, 19. marec 2019

I'm rich in love with you!

🌲

I watched my fair share of Skins and if I got something great out of it, it is definitely that it is never about the destination. Sometimes when I stop and think where life is going for me I just remember all the great days and memories come rushing over my mind and I stop to really let it sink in... I am here and I am happy and I am alive and I lived to see so much already. There are so many great things ahead.

And I don't know how to say this, but Thor really saved me and pulled me through the worst bits of my life. He is the kind of dog that doesn't mind being on the bed with me all day and listening to my complaining or cuddling when life gets a bit harder. When we were little we used to spend Summer evenings outside and watch stars, we were dead silent, but somehow it made all a difference. When I felt alone, I never really was. He was always just there with me. When I got sick, he just looked at me and it was enough. It was worth trying and it was worth risking everything, because if for nothing, it was all for him. I remember my first thought was ''If I am going to be in hospitals a lot, I need to make him a support animal, so I never have to be alone again" and he was always there with me when I thrived. I wonder if I would even see half the things I did if there wasn't for him. And I remember he probably wouldn't see half of things if it weren't for me, so being together is exactly right. I could tell you about a million situations when he literally saved me or at least made life so much easier for me. Even now when I get sad, it is him that I go to first. The greatest thing about dogs is that they never judge your decision and they are always happy and how can you be sad when your dog is happy. It is impossible to be sad if you own a dog. Or at least it is impossible to be sad if you have Thor.

Dogs don't really live that long if you think about it. Thor will be 11 soon and I feel like he has been with me my whole life and at the same time I think our story is just beginning. He was there before I found the love of my life, before I got my first job, he moved from apartment to apartment with me and woke up at 2 am for our road trips or at 11 am when I was sick, he was there through my break ups and when I fought with my siblings and friends. And I just love him so much and I try to say it as much as I can because even if I say it a million times it is still not going to be enough.

"When things ain't right
Don't sigh, don't sigh,

We always get through
When the money runs tight

It's alright, alright
I'm rich in love with you
When tears run down your face

It's alright, I'll take care of you
Things change so fast, so fast
We gotta slow down
Breathe in! breathe out!"

Then there was a time when I was just so confused and I was kinda stuck in the moment. I will never forget that day when I first saw Orca. I don't think I ever told this to anyone before. I got into the biggest fight of my life and I knew that was the moment that it was enough for me, that life doesn't have to be painful and stressful. And I was sitting at the doctor's office, waiting. I just dislocated my arthritis finger for the 20th time and I was literally sitting there and crying. Not because of the pain but because everything just changed in a moment and I don't think I was sad but more like angry relieved (weird emotion, I know) and I just lost my dream puppy because of that fight and I was sobbing and looking at Thor photos on my Instagram, when the doctor said my name. I got some good news and he fixed my dislocation and I had to wait for my papers outside. I said to myself okay enough, no more of this bullshit and I kept telling myself what is meant to be will be and if I don't get a puppy it is okay in that exact moment I saw a picture of Orca. I didn't see any other picture but of Orca and her one sister (Evy) and I was just sold. I think I checked Lina's puppies around 100 times a day for a week and waiting for updates before I contacted her to just let her know that I LOOVE her puppies. I was just all over the place and couldn't even dare to dream to ever get a puppy from her. I showed the puppies to my family and everyone literally annoyed me to write her all the time until I just did it. I was so scared and I kept refreshing every second to see if she would respond. And she said one girl was available. I think I cried a little when she sent me the questionnaire. It sounds dramatic, but I wanted that puppy so much and I had the worst Summer and it just felt like it was meant to be. Haha, I just remember that I wanted to write so much down on that questionnaire but I didn't want to send it to her too late so I typed on my computer crazy fast and I forgot to tell her so many things, but afterwards she invited me to see the puppies. I went from a wreck to the happiest person in a matter of seconds and I had a "sleepover" at Nejc's that night and I couldn't sleep at all. I was just so excited and I didn't even get the puppy but I just was so excited. And then I met the puppies and it was everything. I didn't want to bother them too much but I was just so wow-ed. Funny how just one (two actually, because Matej is also the nicest) person can change your life forever. I didn't pick Orca, I just always thought she was the coolest, but I thought that Lina should pick homes for them, because she knew them the best and I trusted her 1000 %, I just wanted to ''steal'' her name because it was perfect. I had a name picked (Summer), but after such a horrible Summer, it didn't feel right and Orca felt right. And I remember how Lina asked me and Nejc to think about it and let her know if we wanted a puppy from her. And I just said... ''there is nothing to think about''. And I started selling my stuff to get some more money for the puppy and puppy stuff (crates, harnesses, toys, food...) but I had some money saved because I had a puppy fund and I worked all Summer. And after annoying Lina so much (I am forever sorry) she sent us all emails about which puppy is coming to us. And this will sound so weird but I was on the toilet when I got the email and Nejc was downstairs and I just ran down and said ''NEJC GUESS WHICH PUPPY SHE PICKED FOR US!?'' and he just said Orca (she was his secret favourite as well - and I say secret because I didn't really want to pick favourites because I thought they were all crazy cool but had my eye on her but still didn't want to put pressure on Lina because we wanted her to really pick the one SHE thought was the best for us) and my mom was there and everyone was so happy. And then we visited the puppies again with my whole family because they were just so anxious to meet Orca they couldn't wait and from that moment on I just knew I couldn't love anything more than I love her. Oh how she gave hell for the first week haha, I thought I will never sleep again in my life. Nejc started sleeping in his own house at certain days so he could get at least some sleep, that bastard haha. But I don't think there ever even was a more perfect puppy for me. I am so rich in love with her! You have no idea how many times I thank god that I had the worst Summer, so me and Orca could meet. And I am so grateful that Orca has such a wonderful first family, in the end it is the one thing that matters the most!


The thing is Thor saved me and Orca changed me and I will try my whole life to give them everything they deserve and that is a promise.
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četrtek, 14. marec 2019

Family Adventure Plan

četrtek, 14. marec 2019

Family Adventure Plan


Summer. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Don't get me too excited. We made plans, that are so badass and fun I will explode from excitement. I don't think there was ever the time I was so organised to plan my Summer, because for the longest of time I worked through Summer to pay my cost for the next school year. Which I will still have to do, but I decided I don't just want to spend my days working, this year I am not returning to my old job, but I am actually going to find a photography job. And I just got my first photography internship! Huurrraayy! I am so excited for that as well.

But lets start at the beginning. Let me tell you about my plans.

_________

This is definitely the biggest challenge for me, but I am actually willing to do retrieving with Orca, because I think lately I haven't done enough of my 'yes' moments. And I would actually like to turn my 'YES-es' into 'I'M WILLING TO TRY/LEARN'. And I would like to pass a retrieving tests with her, because it is what she is good at and she enjoys it. If for nothing, it is for her.



We are going camping this year. Our plan is to rent a tent from my parents and grab some badass dog gear and just go hiking the mountains. Orca will be old enough that she will easily hike the mountains without me concerning for her health and our two main goals are definitely:
▲ KRN
䷹ Krnsko jezero
Other destinations are still left unplanned and it is really exciting because I never camped before in my life. In my garden with Thor I did, but never for real. And I've heard it is really cold at night in Bovec (where we are going to camp), so it is going to be a challenge for me. But I am excited for that the most.


This is probably my favourite thing to do in Summer time. Thor, despite his unexplained fear for water, loves supping. And I can't wait to bring Orca with us this year. Will have to consider buying a life jacket for her as well and I am actually thinking about buying her a shark funny one from some cheap site because that cracks me up and it works just as good as I've heard. Ruffwear doesn't fit Thor well because he is a boxer. And I plan to take more GoPro shots this year, because I just let it sit at home and I would like to change that.

That are my ''firm'' plans for this Summer. I am sure they are not the only things we will do, because believe me, we are going to sea side this year. And we are spending May and July on the beach anyway.
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sobota, 09. marec 2019

Never Give Up

sobota, 09. marec 2019

Never Give Up

I've been getting bad news/rejections, one after another, this week and I am feeling fine. I am happy actually. I mean, yes, I've been stressing (I haven't bite my nails in a few months now - proud - but just today I lost two soldiers due to my stressing. Not my proudest moment!) but I think everything happens for a reason.

And I can't say it enough - EVERYTHING REALLY HAPPENS FOR A REASON.
When I was at my worst my mom kept telling me that no matter how bad things are, they need to be happening to me right now, because they will always lead me to something better and it is something I carry with me all the time. 

The point is, my life is me writing emails, promoting, working for free and just stressing about content. And I am not getting the results I was hoping for. Which surprisingly feels great. It makes me even more determined and driven to do more. Just today I was feeling really happy about the fact that I am not thriving (might be the psycho talking in me) but I just did more today than I ever did. And I learned more than any other day. And I love today already, even if its filled with rejections.

My hair is super weird, but I am actually just a head full of curls and I started owning it and I don't care what you think, shutup, I am getting a cut soon, okay!
 But if you get beaten down, always get back up. Listen to me right now: If you don't get anything else from my writing, get this - never give up on your dreams. Sounds cliché, but trust me if you want it enough it will happen for you. I can't wait to see how my life turns up in 3 years.

But I strongly believe that without a doubt, there are hardworking days ahead of me, full of rejections and I can't wait for them to happen. Life is too short to take it seriously. Just make sure you put yourself out there. Yes, even if you are introverted, you can do it, you got this, I believe in you, you go! 

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nedelja, 03. marec 2019

Collars, harnesses and a mistake I made

nedelja, 03. marec 2019

Collars, harnesses and a mistake I made


When "we" got Thor he became mine in 0.01 second. I was only barely 12 and I never owned a dog before. Living on a farm I was in contact with so many animals and even my grandparent's dog Max. But I was probably born with the wish of owning a dog. I was nagging my mom. The only books I got in the library were dog books. About how to train them, how to take care of them, about different breeds and I actually saved National Geographic pictures of dogs and put them in an album and on the wall. I never wished for Barbie dolls, I wanted a dog.

Long story short when I got Thor I felt like I knew everything about dogs. When we would go to the vets and pet stores I would correct them and I would annoy everybody. But I did make a mistake I regret a lot. Consider this a mistake number 1 of many I probably did and the problem was I didn't read about it in any book, because no body would write about it at the time.


I would always use a collar on puppy Thor, never a harness, because at the time collars were the "IT" thing and harnesses were mostly used in specific dog sports and for car transporting. So the first harness we actually used was the original one for transporting. It came in a set with a seat belt. But I used a collar all the time. You read it right. All the time. That means when he was outside, inside, when he was sleeping on my bed or in his crate. All the time. I don't think I put any thought into this at that time. He probably had his collar on 9/10 of the time. To me it kinda felt practical, I really don't know. I was 12 and I probably had him wear a nylon collar all the time for 2 - 3 years. When I look back at it I feel so stupid. But he has a permanent line on his neck. He never had it too tight, that was never the case and he was always able to free roam, he was never EVER chained or anything. We had a really big fenced garden and he was trained not to bark and he was a really well behaved dog so when I would be in school, he was able to go outside if he wanted to. And he almost always choose to be outside until I'd get home from primary school. It was 'convenient' for my family for him to wear a collar I guess.


The fact that it was nylon collar didn't help at all, but ever since I could remember I hated every other collar material but light flat nylon/fabric (now padded). I hate chains so much, they remind me of the times when every house would have a chained dog and I would never ever want to own a chained one and I personally don't prefer leather, because it is leather and I don't like to pick products made of animals. And only when I was around 15 and 16 I would started to buy and use harnesses all the time. When the damage was done Thor was forever marked with my stupidity I would rarely put one on him, only if we went for a walk.

That is why you would never spot my dogs having a harness or a collar on when we are not outside. I used only Agility leash for Thor for quite some time too. When I grew up a little I kinda realised it how crazy it was of me, it never clicked in my head before. Now I just like to keep the place ''naked'' or sometimes put a cute bandana on him. But it is something I regret deeply. And if for nothing, I hope people don't make the same mistake as I did.


It is not visible on photos, only if you check it out closely, because it is better than it was when he was younger. If you ever wondered why all my photos are with Thor practically wearing a harness this is why.

Harnesses I use & recommend:

  • Ruffwear Front Range (Thor has it in Green, Orca has it in Violet)
  • Red Dingo (Thor has it in Blue Spots Brown)
  • Hurtta Casual Harness (Orca has it in Yellow) but I recommend using a Y types.

Collars I use & recommend:

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