torek, 19. marec 2019

I'm rich in love with you!


I watched my fair share of Skins and if I got something great out of it, it is definitely that it is never about the destination. Sometimes when I stop and think where life is going for me I just remember all the great days and memories come rushing over my mind and I stop to really let it sink in... I am here and I am happy and I am alive and I lived to see so much already. There are so many great things ahead.

And I don't know how to say this, but Thor really saved me and pulled me through the worst bits of my life. He is the kind of dog that doesn't mind being on the bed with me all day and listening to my complaining or cuddling when life gets a bit harder. When we were little we used to spend Summer evenings outside and watch stars, we were dead silent, but somehow it made all a difference. When I felt alone, I never really was. He was always just there with me. When I got sick, he just looked at me and it was enough. It was worth trying and it was worth risking everything, because if for nothing, it was all for him. I remember my first thought was ''If I am going to be in hospitals a lot, I need to make him a support animal, so I never have to be alone again" and he was always there with me when I thrived. I wonder if I would even see half the things I did if there wasn't for him. And I remember he probably wouldn't see half of things if it weren't for me, so being together is exactly right. I could tell you about a million situations when he literally saved me or at least made life so much easier for me. Even now when I get sad, it is him that I go to first. The greatest thing about dogs is that they never judge your decision and they are always happy and how can you be sad when your dog is happy. It is impossible to be sad if you own a dog. Or at least it is impossible to be sad if you have Thor.

Dogs don't really live that long if you think about it. Thor will be 11 soon and I feel like he has been with me my whole life and at the same time I think our story is just beginning. He was there before I found the love of my life, before I got my first job, he moved from apartment to apartment with me and woke up at 2 am for our road trips or at 11 am when I was sick, he was there through my break ups and when I fought with my siblings and friends. And I just love him so much and I try to say it as much as I can because even if I say it a million times it is still not going to be enough.

"When things ain't right
Don't sigh, don't sigh,

We always get through
When the money runs tight

It's alright, alright
I'm rich in love with you
When tears run down your face

It's alright, I'll take care of you
Things change so fast, so fast
We gotta slow down
Breathe in! breathe out!"

Then there was a time when I was just so confused and I was kinda stuck in the moment. I will never forget that day when I first saw Orca. I don't think I ever told this to anyone before. I got into the biggest fight of my life and I knew that was the moment that it was enough for me, that life doesn't have to be painful and stressful. And I was sitting at the doctor's office, waiting. I just dislocated my arthritis finger for the 20th time and I was literally sitting there and crying. Not because of the pain but because everything just changed in a moment and I don't think I was sad but more like angry relieved (weird emotion, I know) and I just lost my dream puppy because of that fight and I was sobbing and looking at Thor photos on my Instagram, when the doctor said my name. I got some good news and he fixed my dislocation and I had to wait for my papers outside. I said to myself okay enough, no more of this bullshit and I kept telling myself what is meant to be will be and if I don't get a puppy it is okay in that exact moment I saw a picture of Orca. I didn't see any other picture but of Orca and her one sister (Evy) and I was just sold. I think I checked Lina's puppies around 100 times a day for a week and waiting for updates before I contacted her to just let her know that I LOOVE her puppies. I was just all over the place and couldn't even dare to dream to ever get a puppy from her. I showed the puppies to my family and everyone literally annoyed me to write her all the time until I just did it. I was so scared and I kept refreshing every second to see if she would respond. And she said one girl was available. I think I cried a little when she sent me the questionnaire. It sounds dramatic, but I wanted that puppy so much and I had the worst Summer and it just felt like it was meant to be. Haha, I just remember that I wanted to write so much down on that questionnaire but I didn't want to send it to her too late so I typed on my computer crazy fast and I forgot to tell her so many things, but afterwards she invited me to see the puppies. I went from a wreck to the happiest person in a matter of seconds and I had a "sleepover" at Nejc's that night and I couldn't sleep at all. I was just so excited and I didn't even get the puppy but I just was so excited. And then I met the puppies and it was everything. I didn't want to bother them too much but I was just so wow-ed. Funny how just one (two actually, because Matej is also the nicest) person can change your life forever. I didn't pick Orca, I just always thought she was the coolest, but I thought that Lina should pick homes for them, because she knew them the best and I trusted her 1000 %, I just wanted to ''steal'' her name because it was perfect. I had a name picked (Summer), but after such a horrible Summer, it didn't feel right and Orca felt right. And I remember how Lina asked me and Nejc to think about it and let her know if we wanted a puppy from her. And I just said... ''there is nothing to think about''. And I started selling my stuff to get some more money for the puppy and puppy stuff (crates, harnesses, toys, food...) but I had some money saved because I had a puppy fund and I worked all Summer. And after annoying Lina so much (I am forever sorry) she sent us all emails about which puppy is coming to us. And this will sound so weird but I was on the toilet when I got the email and Nejc was downstairs and I just ran down and said ''NEJC GUESS WHICH PUPPY SHE PICKED FOR US!?'' and he just said Orca (she was his secret favourite as well - and I say secret because I didn't really want to pick favourites because I thought they were all crazy cool but had my eye on her but still didn't want to put pressure on Lina because we wanted her to really pick the one SHE thought was the best for us) and my mom was there and everyone was so happy. And then we visited the puppies again with my whole family because they were just so anxious to meet Orca they couldn't wait and from that moment on I just knew I couldn't love anything more than I love her. Oh how she gave hell for the first week haha, I thought I will never sleep again in my life. Nejc started sleeping in his own house at certain days so he could get at least some sleep, that bastard haha. But I don't think there ever even was a more perfect puppy for me. I am so rich in love with her! You have no idea how many times I thank god that I had the worst Summer, so me and Orca could meet. And I am so grateful that Orca has such a wonderful first family, in the end it is the one thing that matters the most!

The thing is Thor saved me and Orca changed me and I will try my whole life to give them everything they deserve and that is a promise.

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