torek, 02. april 2019

Good girl, hood playlist


Salty hair and sandy ass in April. My life keeps changing drastically.

I've been dealing with evening pain for a few months, again, now that I am off the main meds and let me tell you - I've been miserable. The worst thing is that I talk to people with a straight face and tears would stream down my face without me actually crying. It is hard to explain why. But imagine plucking your nose hair out and a tear just streams down you face. That is me for the last few weeks. 

It has been hard, I am not gonna lie. But I think it is rewarding if it means I get to live life like normal people. And maybe one day have kids. NOT NOW MOM! Maybe one day when someone will want to make me their wife. NOT THAT I HAVE TO BE MARRIED MOM!

There is plenty of time for me to go down with this disease in the distance future, but not now. I even started living healthy. No white flour and no milk. I actually like it despite the fact that I love food and I don't want to miss out on any food ever, but it at least makes me feel a little better about the fact that I am doing something for myself. I am adding longer walks or rollerblading to Izola to my daily routine, now that Orca is not a little baby anymore and she can actually walk. 


I kinda got lost a little and just today I realised that I am such a basic good girl, but with a hood playlist. When I was walking my usual walk to FHŠ (my Uni) I saw a homeless man, who was minding his own business and was not rude at all and I was just about to pass him by when this old grandpa showed from no where and started harassing him and I told myself ''Evs, you got yourself into enough shit with this random stunts, walk it off, let it go...'' and you guessed it - I didn't walk it off. I swear I am such a good girl, but somewhere inside me there is a bad bitch hiding to come out for moments like that. And I know how this sounds, trust me, not my proudest moment but I went psycho on a 70 year old grandpa. If there is something I really can't stand is others being rude and seeing injustice. I am too old (soul haha - get it? Cuz I am a 22 year old with a disease for old people) for this.


Now as promised I am giving you my hood playlist. Actually its not even hood, it's just what I've been listening lately. That's why you are here, right?

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